For forty nine years I did things to myself that I wouldn’t allow anyone to do to me. Not all of these were glaring self destructive actions, some were in the form of very subtle thoughts, but it was harmful none the less. If I truly loved myself, I would have never done this, but I didn’t know any better so the self sabotage behavior was the norm. I’m not talking about lip service love here, I’m talking about genuine unconditional love where there is absolutely no judgement whatsoever. Love is a word that is given more lip service than actual action. You will never truly love your neighbor if you don’t really understand how to love yourself and this is because you can never be anything different than what you are in any given moment.
Everything I do is done because I’ve learned what behaviors are loving and which ones aren’t. I love myself to the point where I don’t want to not only cause harm to me, but I also don’t want to harm you. Although it may seem that I share to help others, it’s only partially so. I share because it reinforces the love I have for myself. This isn’t an ego thing, it’s about learning how we are our own worse enemy, that is until we aren’t. There was no greater harm done to me by anyone than what I did to myself, but in the space of quietness I have learned to stop doing this. To me life isn’t about being good, moral, honest, or any other story that can be made up, it’s one thing and one thing alone, that’s to truly learn to love yourself unconditionally so you can in turn love others.
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