Many people are on a so called spiritual quest to find something and for me this something was an inner urging to be at peace. I say was because the urge is no longer there. For far to many years I didn’t truly understand this urge and so it was always there as was the searching to quiet it. This searching manifested in many different ways and none were beneficial in living my life in a loving manner. This is because of the way I was conditioned, to self seek (quiet the urge) which kept the urge in place. What a merry go round ride this produced, hence there wasn’t much peace in my life. This lasted for forty nine years and then one day through a tiny crack in my ego, there arose the possibility of a different view of life which was revealed to me and gave me some real answers as to the true nature of the urge.
Nine years ago it began as just a crack, but has been expanding ever since. For the most part the urge for peace is no longer there because it has been replaced with peace, but when the mind becomes agitated and the urge does return because of the Conditioned Mind Patterns that are in place, I’ve learned to see it from the I perspective that it arises from, and not attach to it. Only attachment to I keeps the urge in place so one has to search instead of there being peace. The search for peace will never result in peace because the search itself is what keeps one from experiencing peace. In this moment right now is where peace is so there’s no need to search for what already is. So it’s only when the mind settles and I is let go of that the urge will subside and lo and behold it is then that one will be at peace.
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