For many years I did things that I considered suitable to my well being, but after forty nine years of doing this I found myself at such a low point that I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to rise up. There was no I think I can chants, no positive thinking, no meditation, no loving myself. There was much confusion and despair, and the insanity of this is my own developed suitable tools brought me to this place. Now I know not many get to this place of total despair so it’s difficult to understood how low I was, but I will say this, I am fortunate beyond words and I will tell you why. When I was twenty eight years old there were ten of us still hanging in a bar in Newark, all of us using alcohol as a suitable tool, we were considered the hanger oner’s. Out of those ten individuals eight of them are dead, what’s tragic about this is, the tools that each of us deemed suitable to live life in this way were the cause of the deaths. Think about how insane this is and how often this is repeated today; insanity to say the least.
When I look back at what I thought were suitable tools to live by, I see nothing but this insanity. I alone although not intentional, caused all my own suffering. Now you may not think this applies to you, but every negative thought one ever has comes from within yourself. It may have been put there by some outer influence, but it was attached to by you and you saw it as suitable to give it energy to manifest. I’m not a big negative/positive person, my experience has been more in line with quietness as the most suitable tool to live by, but it wasn’t always this way. To me the question to ask yourself if you can muster the courage to do so is, are you willing to truly face yourself to see if the tools you have in place are suitable to allow you to love yourself unconditionally and thus love all beings, with the key word being all, not just the one’s that are deemed suitable.
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