True Purpose

Only the Conditioned Mind needs to create a purpose for life. In the space of stillness everything just is and it’s clear that the purpose of life is to just live with whatever’s there, without the need to create a purpose.

I have often stated when I began this part of my life nine years ago, it’s was with one thing in mind and that was to find a way to bring peace into my life. It has pretty much remained this way, but it seems to be naturally going to a different more deeper purpose of doing what’s best for humanity. Our stories become our prisons and I carefully watch how the mind, at least mine, wants to make life into some sort of purpose. These created purposes are plentiful, but they’re all just stories and when the mind settles this will be seen. This is what’s happening to me now, I care more for humanity than I do myself, but not in the way where it’s my purpose to save humanity. It’s just what’s there.

What I mean by it’s just what’s there is, I don’t think about what I do, it has become a part of me. It’s just like the first forty nine years of my life were lived to satisfy my I self without much thought of anything else, this was done because that’s what was there. One will do what they do because of what’s in place and until this is realized, a true purpose will never be understood because a created one will always be needed, that’s just the way the Conditioned Mind operates. When the mind quiets no labels need be applied to life, only the Conditioned Mind needs to apply labels and create a purpose. In the space of stillness everything just is and it becomes clear that the purpose of life is to just live with whatever’s there, without the need to create a purpose.

Lingering in the Past

Although what occurs now happens now, when it’s seen through the eyes of the past one isn’t with what is actually occurring. You can’t be present for the present when the past is being used to live now.

Living from past energy patterns isn’t something that jumps out at you, the patterns linger in place waiting for the opportunity to be used. They don’t have to be glaring, nor do past energy patterns always manifest as totally destructive actions, but it is destructive in the way it doesn’t allow you to be with what’s occurring right now, so it takes you away from truly living your given life. You end up living the same life over and over, doing the same thing, getting the same results, basically it’s as if you’re stuck in a rut which only gets deeper each time the lingering past is grabbed and brought into the present. You can’t be present for the present when the past is being used to live now. Much quietness will be needed to see the lingering past and how it’s used.

Our lingering past energy patterns are very subtle and are deeply engrained, noticing this is the first step in one’s liberation from this energy. This energy is so controlling because it’s brought into the present and blocks the ability to live Now. Not many truly live in the moment of what’s actually occurring. Although what occurs now happens now, it seen through the eyes of the past so one isn’t with what is actually happening now. There’s so much past energy and only in one’s awareness of this can the lingering past energy patterns even begin to be broken. Watch the mind and how it constantly uses the past to live Now. How you can tell something is being used from the past is by the label being applied to the present moment because when it’s all said and done, the present moment needs no lingering past to be.

Suitable Tools

Are the tools you have in place truly suitable to allow you to love yourself unconditionally and thus love all beings, with the key word here being all and not just the one’s you deem suitable.

For many years I did things that I considered suitable to my well being, but after forty nine years of doing this I found myself at such a low point that I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to rise up. There was no I think I can chants, no positive thinking, no meditation, no loving myself. There was much confusion and despair, and the insanity of this is my own developed suitable tools brought me to this place. Now I know not many get to this place of total despair so it’s difficult to understood how low I was, but I will say this, I am fortunate beyond words and I will tell you why. When I was twenty eight years old there were ten of us still hanging in a bar in Newark, all of us using alcohol as a suitable tool, we were considered the hanger oner’s. Out of those ten individuals eight of them are dead, what’s tragic about this is, the tools that each of us deemed suitable to live life in this way were the cause of the deaths. Think about how insane this is and how often this is repeated today; insanity to say the least.

When I look back at what I thought were suitable tools to live by, I see nothing but this insanity. I alone although not intentional, caused all my own suffering. Now you may not think this applies to you, but every negative thought one ever has comes from within yourself. It may have been put there by some outer influence, but it was attached to by you and you saw it as suitable to give it energy to manifest. I’m not a big negative/positive person, my experience has been more in line with quietness as the most suitable tool to live by, but it wasn’t always this way. To me the question to ask yourself if you can muster the courage to do so is, are you willing to truly face yourself to see if the tools you have in place are suitable to allow you to love yourself unconditionally and thus love all beings, with the key word being all, not just the one’s that are deemed suitable.

Aware of Your Own Presence

The value of truly knowing who you are is priceless because it allows the mind to settle instead of needing some story pretending to be this loving, spiritual, head in the clouds person.

One of the greatest gifts I’ve been given is to be aware of my own presence, what I mean by this is to be aware of who I am and not try to be something I am not. Early on after my book came out, I was promoting it and thinking of ways to gets its message to people. Just by the fact that I wrote a book, I knew I had a valuable message to share about how my view of life changed. Shortly afterwards I started writing and posting my articles on social media sites, mostly Facebook, but some other sites as well. I was contacted by a site “Inspire Me Today” to write articles for them, I thought this was a great way to get my book and it’s message some exposure. After about six articles the head of the site said people were complaining my articles were like teachings and asked if I could make them more inspirational. I did think about it for a minute, but decided I will never compromise the message that was revealed to me for anything and I will never try to be anything that I’m not, I told her I could not change my style. I did not write another article for them.

It was an important stance for me then and it’s just as important now. The value of knowing who you are is priceless because it allows the mind to settle instead of needing some story. I don’t pretend to be this loving, spiritual, head in the clouds person. If there was such a thing as a spiritual labors union, I would be the head of it; I often say I walk a blue collared spiritual path. I understand many things, but my feet are always planted in the present moment so if it’s not happening now, it doesn’t really matter all that much to me. I’ve learned early on not to live between my ears and try to be something that I’m not. What this has allowed me to do is to not have one iota of conflicting energy within myself and in the process just be at peace with who I am. Not everyone agrees with my style of writing or what I write, but at the end of the day, it is me alone who I am with and I’m grateful I’m aware of my own presence.

Reaching to be Fulfilled

Until why there’s a need to reach for something to be fulfilled is understood, one will remain a prisoner to the reaching and will always be looking for the next whatever for fulfillment.

What I see that’s missed the most in my writings is the understanding of how all reaching is the same regardless of what is being reached for. The reaching itself is all the same bondage and make no mistake your bondage is your prison. There are so many things reached for, from ayahuasca, to Heroin, a Hersey chocolate kiss, love, God, and it’s this reaching that needs to be looked at. Nobody just reaches for something, something arises from within that tells you there’s a lack that needs to be filled so let’s go and reach for something. This is where the misunderstanding occurs. Because one thinks reaching for ayahuasca is different than reaching for Heroin, and granted the results are different, the true nature of the reaching isn’t identified, so you remain the same even though the things being used are different. It easier to justify when you are reaching to help others than reaching for Heroin, but it’s still reaching so an inner lack is still in need of being fulfilled. Out of everything I write, identifying why there’s a need to reach is at its core. It’s what was revealed to me as being the core of all my problems, with being self centered as the reachings supportive energy.

I know this is difficult to grasp and many will say this guys crazy, how can reaching for God be the same as reaching for a drink of alcohol, or how can reaching for ayahuasca be the same as reaching for Heroin, but it is and it all arises from the inability to truly be present for what’s happening right now. If there’s lack, this will be reinforced by one’s need to reach and if this isn’t grasped, you’ll remain in your prison. Byron Katie just released a new book, watch all the reaching that will be going on. She wrote a book on how to be free, but she will be doing the opposite of what the book says by having many reach for her book, this only reinforces one’s bondage. Understanding this is difficult, but it’s why I don’t push to develop a program, or I won’t become a life coach, to me it’s all nonsense. I will help anyone look within to find their own inner beauty and the only thing needed to do this is to learn to live with what’s occurring now. This is all anything should point to, but because why there’s a need to reach isn’t understood, one remains a prisoner to it and keeps reaching for the next whatever.

A Clear Direction

Our answers are always within, one just needs to make sure the tools that are being used are heading you in a direction that is the most beneficial to your life.

Looking back I can see I had a definite purpose in the direction I wanted my life to go when I begin the study of my own mind. There weren’t any lofty goals to achieve anything or some great state of mind to make my life about something in particular, all I wanted was to find the peace that eluded me for most of my life. This is still my direction today, but just because one is on a so called spiritual path, it doesn’t mean what you’re doing is beneficial to you. I did things for years that I was told were right and it turned out not to be so beneficial for me; these things actually keep me in bondage. I won’t go into details, but what I do today is beneficial and how I know this is because I’m at peace and don’t have a real desire for anything else. I have passion in my heart for things, but not an aching because I need this moment to be different. I’m not looking for anything, that’s how you will know if what you’re doing is healthy for you.

You may want to be the most spiritual person in your circle, you may be reading all the books, quoting all the right people, and putting all your energy into your practice, but the question is can you stop it all and still be at peace. If not what you’re doing is only being used as a distraction. I was distracted for forty nine years, so I know what I’m talking about. Try another book, a program, therapy, another pill, working out, meditation, and whatnot, but when the tasks is complete and you are living your daily life, if you’re not at peace, what you’re doing isn’t working. All things are pointers, but where the misdirection is in thinking the pointers are the answers. The answers are always within, you just need to make sure that the tools you’re using are heading you in that direction that is the most beneficial.

Self Attached Emotions

Emotions can’t rule you if a self isn’t created. This concept of self is the operating system behind our emotions, so when this self isn’t reacting to the outside circumstances of life, there is peace.

Emotions are something that most people don’t give much thought to, the experts with their degrees will say they’re needed and many go along with this without investigating if it’s true, but I say the hell with the experts and their degrees because if I followed the nonsense that is spewed from the arrogance of their degrees, I would be dead. The turning point in learning about emotion was seeing how although they may manifest in different ways, they all arise from the core of I. What was revealed to me is that there’s a created self that gets tied into our emotions in many ways. The concept of this sense of self is the operating system behind our emotions. These emotions are tied into how we see ourselves, for instance guilt arises when we do something we consider bad or wrong. Anger arises when this self is hurt in some way. Fear arises when our self is threatened. Sadness arises when there’s disappointment. All these emotions arise because of very different circumstances, this is as far as most people get when it comes to understanding emotions.

The way I investigated emotions is not in how they were different, but what they all had in common, this was where my focus centered. What this led me to see was there’s one common source of every emotion and that source is the created self. Emotions can’t rule you if a self isn’t created. Please investigate this for yourself if it’s true or not, don’t listen to anyone and their view, develop your own. I said earlier that my emotions would have killed me because I had a tendency when reacting to things emotionally, to use things that were self destructive. It’s not this way today because I’ve learned somewhat (nobody’s perfect) not to attach to a self that gives my emotions life and when there’s not this self reacting to the outside circumstances of life, there’s much more equanimity to remain at peace and not do something that’s self destructive.

True Happiness

The happiness which most seek is always contingent on something from the outside, if this or that happens then I’ll be happy, but true happiness is from within and doesn’t need anything to be.

Thinking about being happy isn’t the same as allowing happiness to arise just because that’s what’s there. This seems to be difficult to grasp and it’s because one can’t think their way to true happiness. Stories can be made up that makes it seem as though one is happy, but it never last. The happiness most seek is contingent on something, if this or that happens then I’ll be happy, but this is another lie of the Conditioned Mind, and there are many. All kinds of examples can be used, if I win the Super Bowl pool, job promotions, snow day off from school, children getting A’s in school, new car, you can add your own happiness provider to the list. The point is, this list is endless and whatever it is that one attain I guarantee you the happiness it brings for that moment will not last. The other day the media was interviewing Bill Belichick, the Super Bowl winning coach for the New England Patriots, they asked him how he felt about winning the Super Bowl, he answered “nice, but all the other teams are five weeks ahead of our team for next year.” This illustrates just how fleeting the happiness is that’s contingent on something for it to be.

The happiness I mentioned in the beginning of the article which arises because it’s what’s there, is not contingent on anything, therefore it is true happiness; I would put it right along side the peace that passes all understanding. I experience both of these everyday for most of the day and it wells up from within me. I don’t make it happen, but I am aware of my thinking which is a direct hinderance to true happiness and this is because you can’t think your way to happiness, you can only think your way to a surface happiness which is contingent on something from outside yourself. The key to true happiness is not needing right now different. I know this is difficult especially when things don’t go your way, but the alternative is to want things different and keep searching for a happiness that will probably remain elusive until the day you leave this world.

Clarified Intentions

When one’s intentions are aligned with Universal Love, there is love for all beings, not because it’s wanted, but because this is the way love rolls when one’s intentions are aligned with Universal Love.

Having a clear vision on your intentions is worth more than all the books combined on what it means to be spiritual, and why this is so is because your clarified intentions are yours and the content of any book is someone else’s. Someone else’s idea of you will never be you, no matter if their way is copied exactly, this is why many remain in the struggle because they’re trying to be someone else’s idea of who they should be. You can use books, methods, and whatnot as a tool, but the deep underling intentions of why you do what you do will need to be reflected upon to see if the results of your efforts are aligned with love, not a story of love, but the love that arises not from the effort, but from one’s inner alignment. This is where effort is meaningless if it’s not aligned with Universal Love. Only the right intentions will do this.

There are as many books as there are people practicing, but everyone who reads a book and practices doesn’t necessarily wake up. Why do you think this is so? It’s because the intentions aren’t of the necessary energy to allows the alignment to a loving heart. True intentions need to be seen if there is to be harmony with all beings. This doesn’t mean a person won’t harm you or animals and insects won’t bite you, but it is less likely you will put yourself in that type of situations with having the intentions of a loving heart. In the space of stillness one learns to see their true intentions and in the process have those intentions aligned with Universal Love. When this occurs one will love all beings, not because you want to, but because this is the way love rolls when one’s intentions are aligned with Universal Love.

Stuck in the Familiar

We repeat the same mistakes over and over and we constantly respond to the same triggers because we react out of the habit of what’s familiar, and this is done without even realizing it.

Why is it so difficult to awaken? There are many reason for this, but to me the one that sticks out the most is how the Conditioned Mind holds onto what’s familiar even if it’s causing extreme pain. When I was twenty five my oldest brother passed away from an addiction related incident, this forced me (not of my own accord) to look at my alcohol and drug use. His death opened my eyes to a degree, but even though my life was a mess, it didn’t mean I was willing to dive in the unfamiliar without my pacifiers to cope with life, and this was with full knowledge that alcohol and drugs were the cause of my problems. It took another two years before a decision was made that I had enough, but even though I was going into unfamiliar territory I figured it had to be better than the way I was living.

The reason it took two years was because although I was in extreme emotional pain, my conditioning led me to believe facing the unknown was to scary and the familiar was the way to go; the lies of the Conditioned Mind run deep. This is why we repeat the same mistakes over and over and it’s also why we constantly react to the same triggers, we react out of habit without even realizing it. The conditioning in place dictates what to do and it’s obeyed without question, and here’s the real irony in all of this, people actually believe they have free will and they have a choice, but the only thing one can do is submit to what’s familiar because that’s what’s in place. Once there’s awareness of this, succumbing to the familiar can be stopped and the choice to live life freely becomes a possibility along with the free will to not give in to the Conditioned Mind.

Conventional Comparisons

The main reason why one’s existence is so problematic is because of the way we compare our current self to our previous self and to the self of others. This blocks the ability to see our completeness as we are.

Comparisons have no inherent value to them in and of themselves, they are just used as a mind construct to keep itself busy. Our minds mostly live in the conventional world of comparisons and this is why one has problems. Without these conventional comparisons the suchness of life would be experienced instead of all the nonsense that comparisons create. We’ll use containers of water to show how this works. Let’s say there’s a 16oz. bottle of water on a counter, it’s just there, no label is needed for it to exist, now put a gallon of water next to the 16oz. bottle and the gallon is now labeled as bigger. Put a 5 gallon jug next to both and see the label change. Now take away both the gallon and 16oz bottle and away goes the label of the 5 gallon jug as being the biggest, it exist in exactly the same way, with or without the comparisons. The main reason why our existence is so problematic is because of the way we compare our current self to our previous self and to the self of others.

There’s one reasons why someone says they are on a path to become more spiritual, it’s because there’s a comparison to someone else’s idea of what a spiritual path is or one’s old self, this gives the comparison thought energy, but it’s just not true, inherently you exist without needing any comparisons. When the 5 gallon water jug is sitting alone, it exist as it is, there’s nothing to compare it to. This is our true nature, if this isn’t understood you will need, a program, a method, a path, a substance, or something else to reach for because you will be comparing yourself to something which blocks you from seeing how it’s only your comparisons that cause you problems. To see this is to see the suchness of your very being, your completeness as you are, which needs no comparison to be.

Cultivating Loving Energy

Cultivate love and you will naturally love, cultivate an “it’s all about me” mind and that’s the exact energy you’ll put out and live by; wherever you go goes your energy.

Even though our innate nature is to love, because of the way most individuals are conditioned, it’s not the default setting of our minds, at least this is how it was for me. I’m not saying I walked around hating, love would arise occasionally, but it wasn’t there naturally. To me it’s not a love hate thing, it’s more so a quietness, self centered thing. It’s very difficult to love when most of the thoughts I had were focused on myself, but as I said it doesn’t mean today I walk around with the thought that I have to love everybody, what does happen though is when the mind gets unstuck, love naturally arises. There are certain energies that need to be cultivated for love to naturally arise, if there’s no cultivation for this to happen, there will be very little natural love because it will be blocked by one’s conditioning.

Think of it as cutting your finger, the cut will heal naturally, but if it isn’t kept clean and and ointment isn’t put on it, it will get probably get infected, and depending on one’s body to resist infection, it can turn into something serious. This is basically how hate arises as one becomes so conditioned that the natural ability to love (heal) gets buried so far down it very seldom arises, if at all. Very few people hate all the time, most just fluctuate between quietness and selfishness, but as with the cuts ability to heal naturally, the more one does things that cultivates healing, the more the natural process of healing occurs. Cultivate love and you will naturally love, cultivate an “its all about me” mind and that’s the exact energy you will put out and live by. Understand these differences and allow love (healing) to naturally take place, or not and risk the possibility of living with an infected (conditioned) mind.

Mental Relations - Part Two

One who always needs things different is one who is always discontented and why one is always discontented is because one always needs things different; the dog chasing its tail syndrome.

I knew yesterday’s article was going to bring up some conditioning in people because it didn’t fall in line with the way societies experts sees things, but I don’t really care about that. At the core of the mental relations I wrote about yesterday is pleasure and it’s this constant pleasure seeking that keeps all the conditioned nonsense in place. Someone asked me if these mental relations in place were the cause of OCD, from my experience I would have to say yes; the Conditioned Mind is the cause of many mind based disorders. If OCD conditioning wasn’t in place there wouldn’t be a need to have things a certain way. I’m no expert in the sense of understanding how the brain works, but I understand the mind, mine in particular, and that’s the difference in how the experts see mind based disorders. The pleasure seeking of needing things a certain way is at the core of so many mind based disorders. I’m using my own experience as the base of where I get my facts from.

I use to cry out to God for help, but the bottom line was I only cried out because I wanted things different. I don’t even come close to doing this today because I’m ok with the way things are and I have found the God I was crying out to doesn’t exist in the way it was being used. The constant pleasure seeking of wanting things my way has ceased, and it’s because I don’t mind what happens today and therein lies my peace. One who always needs things different is one who is always discontented and why one is always discontented is because one always needs things different; the dog chasing its tail syndrome. The pleasure seeking will subside when the attachment to mental relations are let go of, but until that time one will always be looking for the pleasures the mental relations makes you think you need.

Mental Relations

A mental relation reaching for God is no different than a mental relation reaching for Heroin, and although these will produce much different outer results, the same inner bondage remains in place.

Mental relations to what’s occurring determines the energy you will live by and this is because the mental relations are tied into your emotions, which is what gives them life. It’s never truly about what’s occurring, it’s always the mental relation to it that determines what one will do next. Using the example of food shows how prevalent this is. Food is needed to live, but how about dessert, see how the mental relation to dessert makes the emotion of delight arise. Nothing inherently has any substance to it, if we didn’t have tastebuds our eating habits would be very different and this would be because the mental relation to pleasure wouldn’t arise and manifest in the need to be satisfied by food or dessert. Without tastebuds we would eat when we were hungry, not to say that we don’t now, but I know in my case food and especially dessert is mostly used for the fulfillment of pleasure. I don’t eat food that I don’t like and I definitely only eat dessert for pleasure. The mental relation we have to things determines how strong their grip is.

Look at some of the most glaring labeled addictions in our society and see why many don’t break free from their hold. The mental relation to anything being used as a coping mechanism runs deep, but what’s not understood is the less glaring one’s have the same mental relations as the one’s that wreck havoc and even kill. One uses programs to break free from the mental relation to something, only to substitute it for another mental relation in the form of a program, and although the outer results are different, the same bondage to a mental relation remains in place. A mental relation to God is no different than a mental relation to Heroin, again different outer results, but the same inner bondage exist. Until this is understood, the mental relation to whatever thing the Conditioned Mind uses, will keep one in bondage to whatever is being used.

Blind Insanity

Stand up for all your causes, do whatever it is you think is needed to do, just don’t attach to it and watch how your triggers dissipate along with the insane thoughts that you’re not part of all this insanity.

Many think what happens in life is the cause of their anger, but what’s not understood is the anger is already in place, it’s just being triggered by whatever’s occurring. There’s so much underlining conditioning in people that it keeps them from understanding their own mind, and if you don’t understand your own mind it will control you insanely. I know people don’t think they’re insane and take offense to being called so, but this is the exact energy that’s being projected out without an inkling it’s being done; one is blind to their own insanity. You may be abruptly responding right now to this by thinking, who do I think I am to label someone insane, I should look at myself, but I do look at myself and that’s where I first discovered just how insane all of humanity is, myself included; just watch the news. Anytime someone gets angry, they’re causing their own suffering, yet it’s done all the time, but that’s only part of it, what’s really insane is it isn’t truly known why there’s anger. Stories are made up why there is, but that doesn’t mean they’re true.

There are many justified causes for anger, but they’re all just part of the insanity, that it’s not realized is why it’s insane. The list of attachments that are blindly held onto is endless and it keeps the insanity in place. Very few will really get what this article is about, it’s easier to say the writer doesn’t know what he’s talking about then to truly look at this. The only way sanity will return and anger won’t be triggered is if it’s understood. Look around and see how attachment is the leading cause of all this insanity. Is it not? When one wakes up you can pull away from this insanity, which remains in control if waking up doesn’t occur. Stand up for all your causes, do whatever it is you think you need to do, just don’t attach to it and watch how your triggers dissipate along with the insane thoughts that you’re not part of all this insanity.