Thinking doesn’t control me anymore. I’m not saying its like this all the time, but for the most part this is the way it is. I have thoughts, they just don’t control me as they once did. I’m not saying it’s this way for anyone else, but it is this way for me. No longer am I tied to beliefs or concepts. No longer do my thoughts pull me into the self serving side of life. The present moment has become the norm and for me. It was from the depths of despair that stopped creating thoughts of suffering and gave me the willingness to sit.
I sit, I follow the breath, I sit, I fall asleep, but I am willing and to me that’s the key. I’m not concerned with results, my part is to sit. At the time of this realization, I knew it wasn’t because of some belief or a sense of purpose, it was from being right where I was. No attachment, just being in the given moment, nothing more; that’s what was realized. There’s no more inner struggle. No more needing things to be different, no created story needing to make this up. There’s just each moment being lived as it is which is simply non attachment to beliefs, concepts, a purpose, the past or future or anything else.
My own mind stopped creating its own misery. It’s not of my doing that this occurred, but it is from an inner urging that needed life to be different and learning how to allow the difference to occur; this difference is love. There was a time where I didn’t know how to love, but today although I am still learning, there isn’t a time when I don’t love. Love is not a belief in something or a doing, it’s just love which for me makes all the difference in the world.
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