Self Destructive

Looking inward takes more courage than most people will ever exhibit, but only because the conditioning in place doesn’t allow it. Until you can look inward your conditioning will prevail…

Everyday I’m amazed at the things people are okay holding onto with the emphasis totally on satisfying themselves. This is done without much consideration for anyone else and it’s strictly from a self serving attitude. I know it’s because they know not what they do, but the suffering this causes and how it cements the conditioning in place can be truly disheartening. Notice I said can be disheartening because if one is truly awake there’s the understanding that the way things are is the way things are and wanting them different also cements the conditioning in place. I’m writing about this because it’s heart breaking to watch people suffer when you have answers; not many are willing to hear. It’s like having a cure for cancer, but nobody will listen. Without going into specifics, the conditioned unconsciousness runs so deep that people will justify doing all kinds of self destructive behavior without blinking an eye. Drugs, alcohol, gambling, porn, rioting, protesting, murder, rape, assault, robbery, this is only the tip of the Conditioned Mind iceberg. Here is why this is at least from my experience, it’s just easier to justify self destructive behavior than to look at yourself. Truly looking at yourself takes more courage then most people will ever exhibit, not because they can’t, but because the conditioning in place doesn’t allow it.

I write talk to point in a direction, but all kinds of excuses are made not to connect. I get it, but it doesn’t make it any easier to watch people suffering when there’s a way out. This means people would rather remain in their suffering then to go beyond it, that’s the part that’s heart breaking. I don’t say this because I’m a know it all, but I have been released from the grip of my Conditioned Mind somewhat and have been provided with answers. I share my experience with others through my writings. And I know that I’ve truly broken free from the Conditioned Mind because my behavior isn’t self destructive anymore…

Pain and Fear of "I"

“I” likes to make problems where there aren’t any, and although pain and fear may arise, they don’t have to be given the energy “I” wants to give them. The only reason “I” does this is to reinforce its existence…

Pain is nothing more than a message that arises to tell you something. It’s not something to fear, but it will be feared if it’s not understood that this is because of the conventional relation pain has to “I”. Pain itself has no inherent fear quality, it’s just a word, but when “I” attaches to it, it’s given energy and thus it’s given life. This isn’t to say painful things will not occur in life without attachment, but only the relation to “I” causes issue because of the story ” I hurt” or “I fear” or whatever story is attached to. Fear only exist as a story created by “I” and when this is truly learned, attachment is lessened and so is its associated pain and fear. Be with the pain, but don’t let the fear of it be in control.

When the mind settles, pain is seen as something that just arises. All pain whether physical or emotional is temporary, but the mind that fears it becomes captive to seeing it as lasting forever. When this occurs pain becomes a master puppeteer. Attachment to “I” may not seem to be the cause of what is painful, but it cements it in place and gives it control; this is how “I” works. “I” makes problems where there aren’t any and although pain will be experienced, it doesn’t have to be given the energy that “I” wants to give it. Without “I” there’s no attachment and without attachment there’s nothing to fear, but fear itself…

Lies: Absence of Truth

A lie is nothing more than a decision being made by a mind that’s conditioned to self serve. There is no truth to a lie because there isn’t any concrete evidence to back it up…

As life happens it’s mostly interpreted as conditioned lies. For me, it is very difficult to take things serious, especially when it comes to lies. There are so many decisions that are made from a lie that someone has about something, but where it becomes humorous is because lies really have no value. People think they do and will state them adamantly, but they don’t. They are given more credibility and have more effect on things the higher the position one has in society or is held in esteem, but the value of any lie should always be questioned because they’re all derived from someone’s Conditioned Mind, not from facts.

I know this was how most of the decisions were made in my life, there wasn’t much factual thought in them. And whatever the lie was about the decisions made really only had value to me because my conditioning was based to self serve; my lies were all based on a self serving thought. This self serving lie based process took years to develop. It seemed that something occurred and it was placed in a category of like or dislike as quickly as it occurred. There wasn’t a thought process to this, there was no thinking, it just went automatically into its preconditioned assigned category.

All lies are valueless even though a person may think they matter, they don’t because there’s no concrete evidence of truth to them. When something isn’t based in truth, it’s pretty much valueless. Decisions based on lies makes things remain the same because not much can change when decisions are based on lies instead of facts. Because of this, things shouldn’t be taken too serious. Enjoy the humorous lies without their concrete evidence and know it’s truth that sets you free because without it the self serving truth-less lies remain in control…

Delusional Stages

Everything in life passes and that’s a fact, but delusion makes everything permanent. Only when the mind is at ease will one see the delusion for what it is and only when this is seen will the delusion fall away…

Holding onto a view even in the face of evidence that it’s false is the greatest of all delusions. Basically delusion occurs in stages, believing what is seen, the mental reactions to what is seen, and holding on to what is seen even though it’s proven not to be as it’s seen. These first two are the ones that occur mostly, and most people learn from these to a large degree, but the third one is where delusion becomes deeply embedded in the subconscious. It grabs hold of you and makes you do all kinds of nonsense. There are many ways that delusion manifest, just look at all the things that are reached for. The delusion here is the thing will bring satisfaction, but as soon as it’s grabbed it’s gone so the next thing is needed. This is delusion at its finest.

To me this is how delusion operates, you think someone is following you, that’s the beginning; it starts with a thought. Now the mind takes over and the mental reaction occurs or as I like to say “the nonsense begins”. If the person thought to be following you passes you, the delusion will simply fall way, but if you’re in the grip of delusion, you will think the person passing you is just part of the plan. The delusion will always have to run its course before subsiding. No matter what it is in life, it will pass away, that’s a fact, but delusion makes everything permanent so it can remain in place. Only when the mind is at ease will one see the delusion for what it is and only when this is seen will the delusion fall away…

A Rewarding View

Most people will say life is rewarding if everything is going their way. It can always be rewarding regardless of the circumstances, but only if it’s seen how all things are impermanent, including life itself…

On life being considered rewarding or not, if you’re thinking it isn’t it won’t be. And even if you say it is, it will still not be rewarding if that’s what you truly believe. I equate this to whistling in the dark to keep away the bogeyman. As long as you’re whistling the distraction will keep the fear in check. The moment you stop it will return. The key is to identify why you think life isn’t rewarding in the first place and be with that. People say be positive, but being positive to me doesn’t change the facts of why life is labeled as not rewarding. Some not so pleasant things do happen in life, if it’s just masked over and ignored it becomes ingrained as an energy pattern in the subconscious that repeats itself. This is how life becomes unrewarding. Life itself is always rewarding, it’s people who are conditioned to make it something else; this is another lie of the Conditioned Mind.

Life will be rewarding when it’s seen in the light of how all things are impermanent including life itself. Believe me I get it, being ill, losing a loved one, living in poverty, and many others things that occur in life stinks; what makes you think it stinks is the attachment to what occurs. Labeling life as stinky doesn’t change what’s occurring, it only changes where life is put as being rewarding or not. When the true essence of life (impermanence) is understood, it puts life at the top of the rewarding scale regardless of what’s going on because it’s seen that one day life in this form simply will not be…

Need to Reach

When the need to reach for something arises it’s because the mind is trapped to that particular need. Until this is seen you will remain trapped to fulfill a need for the next thing reached for…

You will never find the fulfillment you’re seeking if you’re trapped in the need of that fulfillment. Fulfillment is something that’s already within you, but because of the way the mind is conditioned, you get trapped that fulfillment is something outside of you. This makes the needed fulfillment you’re seeking impossible to grasp. This is also the reason there’s a constant need for something from the outside. Until this is seen you will remain trapped to the needed thought of fulfillment in the next thing reached for. Alcohol, gambling, drugs, sex, social status, programs, therapy, self help books, god, and on and on, these are proof you’re trapped. I can’t stress this enough as this trap has to be seen if you are to experience true fulfillment in your life.

It’s impossible to think your way to fulfillment, what does have to happen if fulfillment is to be experienced is there has to be an understanding of why you’re not fulfilled. When the need to reach for something arises, the trap to the need begins; this trap is a vicious cycle that’s very difficult to break free from. Fulfillment isn’t something attained or achieved so it’s in doing less that you’re fulfilled. To many people get lost in trying to attain fulfillment, but it’s something that’s already within; the need to attain fulfillment needs to be discarded so you can see this. This is not easy to grasp, but I write so the trap of needing can be seen for what it is; the reason why you aren’t fulfilled…

Made Up Stories

When there’s awareness that your life consist of stories you make up, contentment takes their place. This contentment is always there, but not experienced because of your made up stories…

Without made up stories everyone would view life through the eyes of contentment which by the way are the eyes of peace. But because of the made up stories this view isn’t seen. The view of made up stories is the energy of unconsciousness, this makes everything that happens in life about your made up stories. Life isn’t truly about your made up story, matter of face it‘s not about anything in particular except the story that’s made up.

Made up stories are what makes the mind attach to thoughts and those attachments are the cause of the associated thoughts that control your life. What is really happening is this, life just happens it’s not personal, it’s not about anything you think it is. It’s not about right, wrong, love, hate, good or bad, it‘s mostly about learning to understand your minds true nature of quietness and not being led around by your made up stories; whatever you make them. When there’s awareness of this you will truly be content. A contentment that is always there in the space of quietness, but it’s not experienced all that much because of your made up stories not allowing you to see…

Fake Created Problems

Because of the way one becomes conditioned, life is seen as if it needs to be a certain way so many fake problems are created. This is why there’s a constant need to problem solve…

The issue with having to constantly solve problems to arrange life to be a certain way is it’s fake. Even if you make up a story life is exactly how you want it, the mind begins creating a new problem almost immediately. Life is continuous, it’s broken up into segments (fake problems) by a mind that’s in a constant state of agitation. If this wasn’t true you would see life as complete and it wouldn’t constantly need to be arranged to your liking. It isn’t because of anything right or wrong that makes it seen in this way. It’s because the mind has been trained to problem solve so it’s only doing what it’s been trained to do.

The Conditioned Mind sees fake problems all over the place. The shortest line in the supermarket, traffic, diets, to do list, politics, religion, and so on. All this manipulating is strictly done to put another fake problem in place which you think solving it will make life perfect. Let’s say everyday there’s one new problem that’s solved, for me that would mean roughly 23,500 fake problems were created and solved. All this for the purpose of having life a certain way. After all nobody purposely gets in the longest line at the supermarket, but if you did nothing would really change except for maybe not having to solve a fake problem…

Past Maze

If the maze of the past controls you in the present the past will be where you live your life. Why this is unfortunate is because all the past emotional pain will keep you lost in its maze…

The amount of times that you relive something that causes emotional pain is mind boggling because it’s your own mind that does this. And it happens thousands of times throughout your life. This is why most people suffer endlessly because what happened in the past is constantly allowed into the present. And although the body is always in the present moment, the mind is constantly in the maze of somewhere else. This is the constant state most people live their life from. If nothing is done to change this, it will continue until existence in this form ends. This isn’t a philosophy or theory nor is it something I made up, you need only look at this for yourself to see this truth. But If you don’t look at it, you will most likely remain stuck in the maze of your thoughts without a way out.

As a species we seem to be lost in a maze and it’s because looking at ourselves in an investigative way is not something that many people are willing to do. It’s so much easier to point the finger outward. Unfortunately when you point your finger at someone there are three pointing back at you; check this to see its truth. You can ignore this and keep the story that everything will work out or you can take control of your life to some extent and stop attaching to the thoughts that cause your own suffering. After all the same thoughts constantly arise and if they’re not attached to eventually they’ll stop and so will the past maze of emotional suffering they cause…

Inner Turmoil Created

The inner turmoil that keeps you from your peace has nothing to do with life. The turmoil is a creation of your own mind that makes you believe you are not at peace…

There are practical ways to minimize the inner turmoil that causes one to sabotage their own existence. But it has to be understood that the mind creating the turmoil cannot quiet itself. You will have to find out why your own mind is telling you turmoil is needed to cope with life; a life that is controlled by the conditioning to create turmoil. Your own mind creates all the inner turmoil you have by choosing to attach to thoughts that give the turmoil life. This unconscious conditioning is why turmoil arises. The Conditioned Mind creates this as you do things that are destructive to your own well being. Why this turmoil mind set is developed I’m not sure, but I do know it can be described only as insane because your own mind does this.

I know now it was my own mind that created turmoil which arose from within myself. Because of the shift that occurred some years ago there‘s now awareness so inner turmoil doesn’t have to be created anymore. I sit for the sole purpose to develop discipline which allows the mind to settle. If there isn’t discipline your conditioning won’t be understood nor will the reason why turmoil arises. This will lead you to being led around like a puppet on a string. Life does nothing to you, it’s your own mind that does it all. Living in a place of turmoil as opposed to a place of peace will never change until the conditioning that makes it so is changed. All I ever wanted was to be at peace, but I wasn’t aware it was my own mind that created the inner turmoil which made me believe there wasn’t any…

Aware of Awareness

The more awareness you are of what happens in life the more cooperation there seems to be. This doesn’t mean everything will be as it’s wanted, but what happens is there’s awareness of the possibilities…

Life will occur whether there’s awareness of what’s happening or not. What awareness allows is the possibility of a different reaction to what arises and thus a different outcome. It’s pretty much a given that something will arise, there’s not much that can be done in that regard, how it affects a person has many possibilities. Years ago there weren’t many possibilities to the way I reacted to things. My reactions were all based in a very limiting self serving perspective; this was how I was conditioned. I wouldn’t have allowed anyone to do any of the things I did to myself, but yet because I didn’t have awareness to know better, the self sabotaging reactions were what was normal to me. Without awareness of the conditioning that was in place it wasn’t possible to be anyway but how I was.

Although life will always be life as what arises arises, without the self serving view being as prevalent as it once was, it has opened up so many more possibilities in my life. What’s truly beautiful about this is the self sabotage reactions are becoming less and less on their own. Being aware of the way one reacts to what happens is where possibilities arise from. When you’re stuck in a certain view, you’re limited to only that view and the possibility of reaching your full potential is iffy at best. The more one is in harmony with life, the more life cooperates with you. It doesn’t mean everything will be perfect and go the way you think it should be, but the imperfections (only because of a self serving view) won’t limit your possibilities…

Heart Energy

When one truly awakens it’s to an energy which is of the heart. This heart energy lives on in those who are touched by it forever because that’s how the heart works…

There’s one thing that is guaranteed in life and that is everything changes. This is because everything is constantly in motion whether this is realized or not. Last week a person I have known for thirty years passed away. His existence no longer met conditions to sustain life in his current form so he passed on to wherever it is one passes on to. From the time our existence begins, to the time it ends, life is in a constant state of motion, until one day all motion as the body knows it, stops. This is part of the process of existence in this form, it’s not personal, it just is.

It may seem as though life becomes stagnant at times, but it’s only the mind that makes this so. It’s impossible for life to be stagnant. Our cells are constantly changing as is the Universe and when one realizes this, life is lived anew in each moment because life IS anew in each moment. It’s only the Conditioned Mind that wants life to be put in a box of space and time because this is what it uses to try to make sense of things.

Today if you are alive you’re dying, but also today if you’re alive you‘re living. Stagnation creates death, there’s not much life in the Dead Sea, but a sea fed by rivers that flow through it is full of life. When you come to an understanding that it’s only the body that stops functioning, you awaken to the heart energy because it’s the connection to the Universe. No one truly ever dies, we all live on in those who are touched by our heart forever, not for any other reason except that this is the way heart energy works…

High Vibration Energy

When there’s not the constant pull for self satisfying pleasures, your high vibration energy works with whatever talents are within you for the betterment of the Universe…

Let go of the stubbornness that causes you to suffer. It arises as greed, hate, and delusion; it’s the low vibration of stubbornness that causes suffering. Holding onto sense pleasures is a lower vibration energy. The core of holding on is stubbornness and it manifest as the belief that the more one satisfies their sense pleasures the happier they will be. Satisfying these pleasures are not an issue until this low vibration energy takes hold, that’s when problems arise. Remove the mask of stubbornness and what you will be left goes beyond anything you can imagine.

The bondage of wanting pleasure is sought by everyone and has been in place for eons. Forget about going beyond it, it’s no small feat just becoming aware of this. But when there is awareness of the low vibration energy of pleasure seeking, the results are miraculous. There’s no telling what one may experience when pleasure seeking takes a back seat. Your energy will go in a direction not previously known because the pleasure seeking that’s been blocking a higher vibration falls away.

When there’s not the constant pull for pleasure, your high vibration energy works with whatever talent is in you for the betterment of the Universe. There may be a musician, a painter, a gardener or botanist, or even a writer inside you, who knows a book may even be written. I guarantee you this, whatever it is that’s comes from your high vibration energy it will be based in love because that’s just the way the Universe rolls; at least that’s been my experience…

Appropriate Tools

Are the tools you have in place truly appropriate to allow you to love yourself unconditionally and thus love all beings? The key word here is all, not just the ones you deem appropriate…

For many years I did things that I considered appropriate, but after forty nine years of doing this I found myself at such a low point that wasn’t sure if I was able to rise up. There was no I think I can chants, no positive thinking, no meditation, no loving myself. There was much confusion and despair, and the insanity of this is my own mind that developed these tools and deemed them appropriate. Now I know not many get to this place of total despair so it’s difficult to understood how low I was, but I will say this, I’m fortunate beyond words and I will tell you why. When I was twenty eight years old there were ten of us still hanging in a bar in Newark, all of us using alcohol and drugs as suitable tools. Out of those ten individuals eight of them are dead. What’s tragic about this is the tools that each of them accepted as appropriate to live life were the cause of their deaths. Think about how insane this is and how often this is repeated today; insanity to say the least.

When I look back at what I thought were appropriate tools to live by, I see nothing but this insanity. I alone although not intentional caused all my own suffering. Now you may not think this applies to you, but every negative thought one ever has comes from within yourself. It may have been put there by some outer influence, but it was attached to by you and you saw it as appropriate to give it the energy to manifest. I’m not a big negative/positive person, my experience has been more in line with quietness as the most appropriate tool to live by, but it wasn’t always this way. To me the question to ask yourself if you can muster the courage to do so is, are you willing to truly face yourself to see if the tools you have in place are truly appropriate to allow you to love yourself unconditionally and thus appropriately love all beings…

View of Stillness

A Conditioned Mind can only make pre-determined decisions. Only by having a view of stillness can true decisions be made as true decision arise from stillness…

The view of stillness can also be called the view of love. When this is the view that life is seen through, what you see is so different than an unconscious view; by unconscious I mean a view that blindly conforms to what the conditioned world offers. As life is experienced more and more through the view of stillness, the observations are centered more in love and there are less responses to decisions based on your conditioning. This leads to an unconventional way of living life because you’re not affected by the decisions based in the world. Through viewing life in this way, it is so different than what people have become accustomed to.

Most decisions people make are based on how the Conditioned Mind view controls them. You may think you’re making decisions, but you’re only doing what you’ve been conditioned to do. This is the way you have to be, there really isn’t a choice; this is all part of the conditioned view. Look at the nonsense that goes on between your ears. It’s truly mind boggling how the mind is controlling ever decision made as if you were a puppet on a string. If you don’t think this is so try and sit still for a half hour in silence. If you can’t do it don’t be discouraged not many can. And if you can’t control your own mind when you’re consciously trying to do it, what makes you think you’re in control when you’re not trying. It’s so hard to do because the unconscious view blindly conforms to the conditioning of the world and most people haven’t a clue this is their view…