Watcher of Life

Be the watcher of the occurrences that happen in your life and be the recipient of a peace that’s not understood. Or not and stay trapped in the judging and labeling process of the Conditioned Mind…

There are times when life can seem as though it’s such a struggle, but really life itself is never a struggle, it’s the created perception that makes it so. There are different ways to live life, one way is from a perception of everything that happens is personal. This requires constant judgements as each situation occurs, instantaneously things are labeled as they happen; this makes life personal. This is the way most people have been conditioned so this is the only way that most live.

Another way that life can be lived, but this must be learned, is to watch what happens and not make it personal. This is much different because you don’t get directly involved in what happens. You’re a participant because you exist, but you learn not to judge and label what happens. If you‘re in traffic you watch it, but that’s all you do. You acknowledge the fact that there’s traffic and that’s it. You don’t have to take it any further because it doesn’t add anything to the situation. In this case you are in traffic, but by observing being in traffic instead of making it about you, there is a freedom that’s not there when the situation is judged and labeled instead of just being observed.

To me there is so much more benefit in being a watcher of what happens in life as opposed to making it personal. If you can learn how to do this you will experience life in a way as never before. This is not something magical, it is simply an observation instead of judging and labeling. Just think of the many scenario’s that this can be directly applied to and see how different each situation affects you when it’s watched instead of judged and labeled. It’s amazing how much more peace there is in your life when it’s not made personal. Don’t take my word for this, see this for yourself how the situations that occur don’t change, just the way they affect you does. Become Be the watcher of the occurrences that happen in your life and be the recipient of a peace that’s not understood. Or not and stay trapped in the judging and labeling process of the Conditioned Mind…

Delusional State

Understanding the nature of your delusions is one of the benefits of waking up, but it’s not the world’s delusions that wake you up, it’s the delusions that run your own life…


The delusions that run your life are the delusions that manifest as attachment to your thoughts. The first thought that arises is inconsequential, it’s the attachment to the second thought that forms the delusion. To understand delusion one must be aware of their attachments, desires, confusions, and the way your mind works, without this the dog chasing its tail pattern prevails. Certain practices turns one inward to see this, if what you are doing doesn’t turn you inward you will remain trapped to your delusional state of mind. This is why nothing from the outside truly changes a person because anything from the outside is part of the delusion. A broken mind can’t fix itself and as long as it’s reaching for something on the outside, it remains trying to fix itself and thus it remains broken. Until this truth is seen, things have to stay as they are because nothing is being done to change it.


We can only know what we know if there’s awareness of it. What this means is one has to develop mindfulness of what they are doing as they are doing it so there‘s awareness of what is being done. If you know what you’re doing as you’re doing it it leaves little room for delusion to arise. Mindfulness is probably the single most important discipline to develop as it anchors you in the moment as what is being done occurs. Delusion only occurs when one lives in the story that there’s a past or future; these mind made constructs keeps the delusion alive. The present moment can be seen without making it a story even though it passes as quickly as it arises, but the past and future can never truly be seen without a story, and because few have the discipline to be present, the delusional state of existence remains in place…

An Imagined Identity

When the lie of your imagined identity is exposed, the truth that this imagined self doesn’t really exist is revealed. This leads you not so much to knowing who you are, but more so to the truth of who you are not…


One day as I was sitting in silence, it was revealed to me that it took roughly forty nine years to develop an identity to an imagined self, along with all the tools I thought were needed to make me who I thought I was suppose to be. For the last twelve years I have be undoing what my own mind developed as it told me it was the most beneficial way to live. This imagined self began at the time of birth when my parents named me for the purpose of society having a way to identify me. This identify was then attached to by a self that wasn’t formed yet, but it slowly was being developed into an imagined identity.


For me this lie was exposed as it may for others at some point, but for many it will remain in place until the time of death, and although death itself may be the time of this exposure, most will never be aware of it. For those who do awaken to the fallacy of this imagine identity, there’s a freedom that occurs which can only be known in the space of non attachment to this made up imagined self. Bondage is in the belief that you are what you imagine. Freedom is in the knowing that you are not. Again: Bondage is in the belief that you are what you imagine. Freedom is in the knowing that you are not. The more the lie of this imagined identity is exposed, the more truth that the imagined self doesn’t really exist is revealed. In this truth there’s a knowing, not of who you are, but of who you are not, and it’s in the exposure of this lie that sets you free because you’re no longer in the prison of this imagined identity…

The Draw of "I"

The draw of “I” is what traps you to a suffering mindset and as long as this mindset is in place, there will be struggles in life because the “I” draw will always need to be fulfilled…


The “I” draw causes suffering, there’s no getting around this, but it’s not the “I” draw itself that’s the problems, it’s being controlled by it unconsciously that makes the draw a problem. To follow through on all your “I” draws isn’t useful, but this isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with this, it’s really about deciphering what’s useful and what actually causes harm to yourself and others. An example would be the “I” draw for sex. Sex is something that’s basically in our DNA, but to be controlled by the need to satisfy the draw becomes the focal point of existence, this is where issues arise from. Take sex and substitute it with something else, working out, being successful, thrill seeking, golf, social status, ambition, hoarding, enlightenment, spiritual seeking and so on and see how the draw holds you in captivity. As long as the “I” draw is unconsciously in control it will have to be followed, this bondage to the draw of “I” is the foundation of the Conditioned Mind.


Looking back I can see how the attachment to this is what allowed the draw to control me and why “I” was at the core of every issue in my life. Where the issues come from is how the draw is used to satisfy “I”. I‘m still drawn into “I” today, but for the most part it’s there to fulfill a higher calling than selfishness. The draw of “I”is the root of suffering and this is because the draw entraps you to the bondage of self; existence doesn’t produce much harmony in a draw of I mindset. Knowing this doesn’t make one free of “I” but it does lead you in a direction that is much more conducive to love which in turn lessens the draw. Life than becomes about what’s better for humanity as a whole instead of fulfilling the draw of an “I” mindset…

High or Low Energy

The higher energy level has to be understood so the bondage of self is truly let go of and one can reach their true potential which is to be an instrument of love instead of an instrument of lower selfish energy…


The are two types of energy to just about everything in life and although many times only one is seen, in order to go beyond the lower energy the higher energy has to be noticed. This is the only way one will be able to go beyond the limited view of the lower selfish energy. If your existence is viewed only from human attachments, the higher energy won’t come into play and life will seem very mundane. When you start looking at life where it doesn’t require human attachments, a higher view opens to the true beauty of what life has to offer. This beauty manifest in different ways for people, but what it all has in common is it comes from the space of a higher energy. We exist in the form of energy and one type is selfish, the all about me view. This is a lower energy that doesn’t allow you to reach your true potential. The other type or view is the energy of stillness which manifest as love, this is a higher energy which allows the beauty of life to manifest and thus your true potential is maximized.


Learning to understand these two types of energy will assist in truly letting go of the blocks that keep the lower selfish energy in place. The higher energy is always there to tap into, but if there isn’t alignment it can’t manifest. This isn’t to deny being human because it’s the form we are in, but attaching to it and making it an end to a means is where the expansion of consciousness ceases. The tighter the grip of being human, the less higher energy there will be. This is a Universal Law that has to be understood so the bondage of self is truly let go of. When it is understood your higher self reaches its true potential and you can be an instrument of love instead of an instrument of lower selfish energy…

Emotionally Stuck

Nothing from the outside truly controls you regardless of the injustice; either real or made up. It’s the stuck emotions attaching to what happens that cause certain reactions to occur…

Staying in the flow of what happens in your daily life has immense value in the process of waking up from the sleep of unawareness. What happens if awareness isn’t expanded upon is your emotions become stuck and they control you; they become the master and you the slave. The stuck emotions is what causes reactions to life in the way that they do. Nothing from the outside truly controls you regardless of the injustice; either real or made up. It’s the stuck emotions attaching to what happens that cause certain reactions. When one awakens, the attachment to emotions lessens and their control lessens. When my mom died to say I will feel no emotions is ludicrous, but I don’t have to get stuck to them and turn it into the suffering of grieving. Same thing if something is done that makes you mad, feel being mad, but let the being mad energy flow, don’t attach to it and get stuck to it so anger arises, this way you remain aligned with life.

This is how it is with all emotions, fear becomes crippling when you become stuck and it takes you over. It doesn’t mean things won’t scare you, but it’s doesn’t have to be given the energy that turns it into fear. This applies to any emotion you become attached to, it gets stuck to the associated emotion and there’s no telling what reactions will arise. I guarantee you, it’s not going to be a reaction that has love as its base. Emotions will arise, it’s the way the brain seems to be wired, but our energy doesn’t have to give them more power than they’re worth. We can cry our tears, or be fearful of the future. We can dislike that things aren’t going the way we think they should be, but the bottom line is it’s only when the emotions get stuck that they’re given the energy to stop being aligned with life and cause not only your own suffering, but the suffering of all beings…

Loving Intentions

Hold on to all your beliefs. March, protest, whine, judge, and slander in the name of righteousness, just know when this energy is unloving it makes waking up that much more difficult to occur…

There is no easy way to waking up from the sleep of unconsciousness. You can’t think your way to consciousness or happiness, but for some reason you can think your way to misery and all you need to do is look around to see this truth. It will take what it takes for ever how long that is to wake up, and that may be many lifetimes. The experience of the shift of my view that took place was and is a happening not a doing, it’s the transformation of energy from an “I” view to one of love. I do certain things now that I understand puts me in alignment with this loving energy, but the transformation remains a happening not a doing. To me this is what happened to Buddha, Jesus, and anyone else who has ever awakened; it’s something bestowed upon a person, it’s not something that is chosen.

People get stuck because an awakening is thought to be a doing and because of this most remain stuck in “I” which is form. Until it’s understood “form is emptiness, emptiness is form, “l” remains in control as it keeps trying to do. This is not what I think, it’s what’s going on right now in my life and has been for the last twelve years; the prior years were unconscious. Hold on to all your beliefs, march in the name of righteousness if that’s what you think needs to be done, just know when this energy is unloving it makes waking up that much more difficult to occur; the road to hell is paved with unloving intentions…

A Settled Mind

The mind will only settle when quiet. You can’t really do anything for this to happen; it settles on its own. When the intellectual mind stops seeking the mind settles in its own peace….

When one truly awakens there’s an understanding of a settled mind and how it relates to life. When this occurs there’s freedom because a settled mind quiets naturally. We seek because of internal urgings which is what a true awakening reveals. This cannot be known intellectually, intelligence is actually noise. A settled mind can only occur when quiet; the lack of quiet makes life very mundane. It makes you less aware of your internal urgings provided by the Universe. Without this awareness you cannot truly understand what the benefits of a settled mind are; although it’s already settled, it’s just not understood. Nothing is needed to experience a settled mind, but it will only settle in its own time. Methods may be useful in some way, but the only reason this is so is because its been developed to generate noise.

The need to make life about something is because of the Conditioned Mind, but if this  something is needed make it about a settled mind. This is the only thing that truly makes sense to me, it’s the only place where thinking is necessary and there is peace. To not think is to be in a state of no mind and this state is one of true peace. How can it not be peaceful in this state, there’s nothing to cause suffering; there’s no generated noise in the head. I AM, nothing more will ever be needed because this where everything arises from; unless you want to live by the generated noise in your head. A settled mind provides the ultimate truth, but even saying this is noise. A settled mind allows the quietness of all that is, when you stop seeking it or trying to define it that’s when the mind settles…

Habitual Stories

Watch the stories arise as the Conditioned Mind attaches to whatever it is that’s occurring in each moment. If you truly see this you just may be able to break the habit of needing to make up these stories…

The stories created become habit, this is what the Conditioned Mind does it creates stories. The only conflict there ever was with someone was our stories didn’t match. This is also true today, although the story doesn’t usually come from me because I’ve learned enough to allow everything to be as it is and not want it different; for the most part. I say for the most part because there are habitual triggers that get activated, but it’s more of a momentary reaction than one that hangs around long enough to create a story. I only created stories when I wanted something different so if I don’t want you, life, or what happens different, than I’m in a place of peace. This peace doesn’t seem to change much that’s happening around me, but remaining unattached and at peace changes everything, at least for me.
Every disagreement people have with each other is because the habitual stories don’t match up.

Everyone thinks their story is the right one, but the fact of the matter is until you learn to stop making up habitual stories, you will always be in conflict with something; what’s not realized is the conflict is with yourself. This happens all the time, I don’t write to change anyone, when people have strong opinions against my articles it’s only a habitual story. I don’t agree or disagree with anyone so this non storied energy always matches up; no habitual energy. The funny thing to me is, it doesn’t matter how anyone sees things because we’re all conditioned differently, but to some the story of making others see things their way arises. It’s so freeing to live without needing a habitual story. Watch the stories arise as the Conditioned Mind attaches to whatever it is that’s occurring in each moment. If you truly see this you just may be able to break the habit of needing to make up a story…

Nothing Provides Everything

Without awareness of the mind becoming agitated in the absence of something to do, the Conditioned Mind will create story after story just so it can fill this absence with something…

The most difficult thing one will ever do in life is to learn how to do nothing in spite of the conditioning telling you to do something. To not give in to the mind agitations that tells you to do this or that, reach for this or that, is so difficult because of the lack of awareness to just be and also the lack of understanding of why not to do is so difficult. Even with awareness and understanding this, it’s still difficult because of all the outer influences and inner conditioning. To not do is not something many master, I’m not talking about sitting in meditation or taking a nap, I mean being wide awake without having to do something. For forty nine years having to do wasn’t noticeable to me because I was never still long enough to be aware of any mind agitation. I like so many was a doer; a slave to my Conditioned Mind.

For some this doesn’t seem like much of an issue because having to do isn’t noticeably, but make no mistake doing is doing and one is a slave to doing regardless how productive or subtle it may seem. Without awareness of the mind becoming agitated in the absence of having to do something the Conditioned Mind creates story after story just so it can fill this space with something; the stories base will be whatever conditioning you have in place. You can only do what the conditioning in place dictates and without these agitations being noticed, the conditioning is usually based in doing something for selfish reasons. Even if one wants to save the world, who says the world needs saving. Not having to do allows for one to truly be an instrument, not by doing, but by simply being, make no mistake though this will only occur if you notice you don’t have to do…

Acceptance/Liberation

There will only be freedom when there’s acceptance of things being as perfect when they’re in disarray as when they’re exactly how you want them; this is the key to liberation…

In order to experience liberation there has to be freedom in a state of dissatisfaction as there is in when there’s satisfaction. This goes for everything because it’s in wanting things a certain way and not accepting them when they’re not that causes uneasiness. This is the core energy of the Conditioned Mind, it creates all the uneasiness in life by making up the lie that things need to be different. By all means change what can be changed, but if it’s only an outer change it still won’t bring the satisfaction sought. This is where the value of going inward comes in, I don’t have answers for others mostly because I don’t know really know what someone else has gone through. My writings are pointers to show how life is always as it is and only wanting it different is where your uneasiness arises from.

The labeled good, bad, and ugly, all need to be accepted the same, this is a truth and that’s why it’s shared. If this isn’t seen it doesn’t mean it’s not true, it just means you’re not there yet. Even though everyone goes through life how it’s accepted is dependent on where one is in their life. There’s no right or wrong in how things are dealt with, it’s determined by one’s conditioning. I know people get frustrated because I don’t give the answers that are wanted, but that’s because I can’t. One can only see what’s within them and it’s not always what someone wants to accept. Accepting life as it is goes a long way in becoming liberated from the hold of self and there will only be liberation when there’s acceptance of things being as perfect when they’re in disarray as when they’re exactly how you want them…

Hole in the Donut

Everyone begins existence complete, when this isn’t realized creating a hole in the donut and filling it for completeness is created. Most people have a sense of lack in their lives so reaching seems natural, but it’s not…

Constantly reaching for things outside yourself keeps you in the grip of the need to reach because it’s as though it creates a hole in a donut. The reason why reaching is done is to try and fill the hole, but the reaching for things outsides yourself keeps the reaching in place, thus the hole remains. Only by looking inward does the hole begin to be filled, but what really happens is it simply collapses because the outside reaching weakens. Years of conditioning makes the hole in the donut almost impossible to fill and it’s unfortunate because most never get beyond it; almost impossible was written because the slightest turning inward is all that’s needed. Once reaching outside ceases because its lie is exposed, looking inward becomes the choice and it has a ball rolling down a hill effect; it just naturally picks up momentum.

Outside reaching is used as a protection mechanism so going inward isn’t an option. The greatest lie that is told to ourselves and constantly reinforced is, we need something to be complete, but there’s nothing further from the truth. Everyone begins existence complete, it’s just that it’s not really known, hence that’s why there’s a need to reach for it. Many have a sense of lack in their lives so the reaching seems natural, but it’s not. We’re not meant to create the hole in the donut, it’s only so because of the conditioning that’s developed. Once the slightest inkling of this occurs, everything changes and it’s because an inward view reveals truth and although we live a lie for most of our lives when truth is revealed the hole fills because truth sets you free…

An Awakened Push

An awakened heart can be likened to a ball on top of a hill, it will only take a slight push to get it rolling, and once it starts it will just keep on building momentum unless something gets in the way to stop it…

Once a ball is placed at the top of a hill and it’s given a slight push, it naturally begins rolling in the only direction it can go and its momentum builds without one ounce of exertion. It does take some effort in the beginning to get it going, but not much more than a little push. It’s this way when one wakes up from the sleep of unconsciousness. There’s not much that needs to be done for an awakening to expand, as a matter of fact most people hamper their awakening process because of trying to hard. If you are even the slightest awake the push has already occurred, so all effort is now futile. So many books, programs, videos, and whatnot and although they do make you more knowledgeable, none of it makes you anymore awake than the first push.

This is one of the reasons I emphasis using the body as an anchor in the awakening process, because it doesn’t take effort it only takes present with what is actually here which is the body. All kinds of stories can be made up about what needs to be done, but it doesn’t expand awareness one bit. Either you are awake in the quietness of the present moment or you are asleep in the noise of somewhere else, the first push reveals this truth. And as with the ball, nothing else is needed than a slight push to get it rolling; it will just keep on building momentum unless something gets in the way to stop it…

Peace of Right Now

As you become more and more anchored in right now, the created stories are needed less and less and with less of a story there’s a right now peace the mind settles into as it’s the only thing that’s there…

There is surely nothing other that the single purpose of right now. Life is simply a successions of moments, if this was fully understood right now, there will be nothing else to do and nothing else to pursue. Unfortunately this isn’t the way for most so the past and future are constantly drawn on to satisfy the mind agitation of not being here right now. Many different stories are used as an alternative to this, but it’s not my place to label them as anything. I’ve found something that works for me and that’s what I share. It’s funny because it’s not a concern of mine if there’s agreement with what I share or not. I understand we all see things as they’re revealed to us, but people feel the need to tell me how their way is right. There is no right way, there’s living in a way that only benefits all beings.

I do know this, at one time my Conditioned Mind controlled me as if I was a puppet and because of this life was lived as a self serving existence and it wasn’t much of a benefit to anyone. Twelve years ago this changed and the things done began to be a benefit to others. There’s a lot written written about the Conditioned Mind, because it’s what was revealed; that’s why it’s shared. As one becomes more and more anchored in what’s here right now, the created stories are needed less and less and with less attachment to a story there’s the peace of right now that the mind settles into because it’s the only thing that’s there…

No Story Truth

A lie will always be a lie and until the root of the lie is cut away, truth will remain buried beneath the justification caused by the ignorance of the lie. Truth is the only thing that sets you free…

A statement is often made “know the truth and it will set you free” but how are you to know what truth is? This is what can be used as a guide whenever something keeps you from truth, if there’s some form of attachment this confirms something is a lie so if it’s a lie it can’t be truth. The lie may not be seen as is often the case because of the conditioning in place, but if there’s an attached story to what arises and it’s being held onto, freedom is lost and the lie wins out. Simply put, if there’s no freedom it’s because there’s no truth. Whether this is a method being used, a program, object, idea, concept, belief, religion, sex, or whatever, the moment it becomes a dependency it pretty much guarantees it’s a lie and not truth. Truth just is, it doesn’t need a story because it’s never binding, that’s how you will recognize it.

If you want to understand truth, look at the lies that hold you captive; truth is liberation from the lies. Many just substitute one lie after another and remain with the lie, although it is thought to be truth. Whatever holds you captive is a lie so if something has you in its grip and all you do is exchange one lie (dependency) for another, you are still being held captive. Programs, therapy, and an array of things do this; I know this to be factual. If you need a program or therapy to live your life you are dependent on it; it’s the very thing you have been trying to free yourself from. Dependency is a lie no matter what label it’s given. The lies of the Conditioned Mind are so subtle, truth is dismissed before it’s  investigated. A lie is always a lie and until the root of the lie is cut away, truth will remain buried beneath the justification of the lie; only truth sets you free…