Self Created Suffering

Nothing that happens in life affects a person unless it’s allowed. This is the insanity of a Conditioned Mind, its self destructive solutions are all from within which means one creates their own suffering…

The bottom line for me is this, when all is said and done, regardless of what it’s called, I have found a way to minimize the reactions in my life that cause my own suffering, which by the way my own mind tells me is needed to cope with life; a life that was controlled by this destructive mind set. My own mind created all the craziness that went on by choosing actions I thought I wanted to do, but my choices always caused suffering. I developed a mind that told me to do things that were destructive to my own well being. From relationships, to drugs, alcohol, gambling, and a slew of other things, nothing was ever chosen that was beneficial to my well being, it always seemed to cause more harm than good. How this mind set developed I’m not sure, but I do know this, it can be described as insanity at its best.

Thirteen years ago an inner shift occurred that wanted this destructive to end. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but I did know I needed to find a way to bring peace into my life or it was going to be a short one. I have no name for what happen, there isn’t a benefit in calling it something. A label needn’t be applied to what happened. All that was needed then and all that is needed now is for my behavior which was once totally self destructive, to no longer be that way. This is why labels and what others do isn’t a concern to me, because I know for years my own mind allowed itself to create suffering within myself and because of the shift that occurred there is an awareness that suffering doesn’t have to be created anymore.

Regardless of what it’s called or what attached label is put on it (by others) the bottom line for me is this, when I have conflict with something it’s my own self destructive mind that creates it and this means I am not a peace. Now because there‘s awareness of this, my mind doesn’t do this so there’s peace. All I ever wanted in my life was peace, but I didn’t know it was my own mind that was the cause of not being at peace…