Just wanting to change something doesn’t work no matter how sincere you are unless it’s followed by actions to allow the change to take place. No transformation is complete until there’s a willingness that allows it…
The idea of doing what puts you in alignment with what’s beneficial to you is much different than actually putting it into action. It’s not because it isn’t how you want things to be, it’s just that there’s so much pulling against you that without constant awareness it will be difficult to sustain a connection to quietness for a substantial amount of time. We all have times when it’s easier for this than others, but we also have our times when we say screw it and self seek. Don’t be too hard on yourself though, a lifetime of living from “I” will not disappear with a few sittings. The key is to keep developing the discipline that allows for the self seeking behavior to become less and less.
This will occur naturally, you only need to be willing to sit. Sometimes it will seem like “what’s the use” but understand this is all part of the conditioning, the noise, the story, the unconsciousness, whatever you want to call it. Willingness is the key if there’s to be change because the old behavior is so deeply engrained to let go of its control without it. This is why most people don’t change because the dedication to investigate why you do what you do isn’t given 100% willingness. It’s impossible to get more out of life than you put into it; be 50% willing and that’s what you’ll get in return (maybe). The self serving mind is very subtle and you will never be free until you are willing to let go 100% so your actions are a benefit to all beings 100% of the time. No transformation can occur through a thought based idea, a complete transformation will only occur through a quiet willingness…
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