Craving of "I"

The craving of “I” is what traps one to the bondage of the desire of “I” mindset and as long as this mindset is in place, there will be struggles in life because these selfish cravings will always need to be fulfilled.

Craving arises, there’s no getting around this, but it’s not the craving itself that causes issue, being controlled by it unconsciously is what makes craving an issue. To follow through on all our cravings isn’t really useful, but this isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with cravings, it’s really deciphering which ones are useful and which ones actually cause harm to you and others. The craving for sex is something that’s basically in our DNA, but to be controlled by the craving for sex to the point where it becomes the focal point of your existence, is where issues arises. Just take sex and substitute it with something else and see how the craving holds you in captivity. As long as one craves unconsciously, they have to be followed. This bondage to cravings is the foundation of the Conditioned Mind.

Looking back I can see how the attachment to cravings is what allowed them to control me and why they were at the core of every issue I had in my life. I still have cravings today, but for the most part they’re there to fulfill a higher calling than “I”. The desire of “I” is the root of suffering and this is because it entraps one to the bondage of self; existence doesn’t produce much harmony in a desire of “I” mindset. Knowing any of this doesn’t make life “I” free, but it does lead one in a direction that is much more conducive to love which in turns makes craving more about what’s better for humanity as a whole instead of fulfilling the craving of an “I” mindset.

Direction of Energy

The direction of energy that one embraces determines a direct link to what energy is put out, and love will be put out when it is simply learned to keep your head where your feet are…

Eleven years ago the direction of my life was much different than it is today. Prior to eleven years ago for reasons unbeknownst to me, my direction was very self-centered and didn’t provide much benefit for me or anyone else. Although I certainly embraced this direction just because I didn’t know any better, it caused me and those around me much suffering. This is what an unconscious self-centered direction does, there’s really no way around this. This seems to be the direction of the masses and when followed blindly as it certainly seems to be, much suffering ensues. The more self-centered a person is the more suffering there is when it comes to anything associated with them. This is the basic energy of unconsciousness, and although many fluctuate in this energy pattern just because of the natural inclination to love, some fluctuate very little because of deeply engrained self-centeredness conditioned mind patterns. This was me.

Fast forward to today and the energy in place is much different and as a result of this different direction my life reactions are different. No longer is there the consumption of me, but not because it’s about you, there’s just much more quietness in place and that is the direction that has afforded me much benefit. Because of this directional energy shift there is an obligation to simply share it so others may see its value. I know nothing really when it comes to the Universe, but I do know how it was for me and how it is today. This shift is not a credit to anything I’ve done so I simply point how a different direction from being self-centered to keeping my head when my feet are has changed my view of life…

Two Versions of Life

When one’s thoughts are used as the primary means to live by, this is a very limited version of life, but when the mind settles, a second version is provided with limitless content.

When thoughts are used primarily as a means to live by, this leaves only one way to view life and because thoughts are so restricted and limiting, it’s makes for much suffering. We think by thinking, studying, and reading books we’ll become all knowing and be able to master life, but the only thing this provides is arrogance, smugness and a state of unconsciousness. When one constantly has a need to read someone else’s book, one is limited to only learn what the content of that book is. What if what’s written in the book isn’t totally correct or only has partial facts about a subject, that will be what one learns. People get a college degree because the content of books are memorized, and the thoughts taken from these books are used to create experts by the worlds standards. This method produces a very limited view of life, with the limit being whatever one’s thoughts are from the content of the books that are read.

Humans have wars against each other, we fight with each other and most of this happens because of the nonsense of our thinking. Everyone thinks they’re right which arises from what is heard or what a books says, and all this does is fill one’s head with noise. This noise is the only version of life that one will ever see unless the mind becomes quiet enough to allow a second (thoughtless) version to be seen.

What happens when the mind settles is it allows for two versions of life to be seen, one version is the made up stories of one’s conditioned thoughts, and the other is the version of just doing whatever it is that’s in front of you because it’s what’s there. Both versions are from the same mind, but only one will be used when the mind settles. When this settling occurs and the version is seen of a second view, the limitations provided by the world view of thought will fall away. It will be at this point that you will go beyond the limited view of your thoughts and see the limitless view of just doing what’s in front of you, without the need to think about it.

Bondage of Reaching

Reaching itself is the issue, not the thing being reached for. Not everything reached for is truly beneficial. It will take a very settled mind to see the subtle bondage in the things one thinks are beneficial.

Doing what’s beneficial for your well being needs to be investigated to see if what you’re doing is truly a benefit and not just a story of what you think is beneficial. Many people play the lottery to become rich so to become rich becomes your beneficial energy…so you think. Sex is often viewed as beneficial, as is the spiritual path. Drugs, alcohol, gambling, and their programs are seen as beneficial, but as the results of these energies may be different, the bondage they keep you in is the same. Working out and healthy eating habits are very beneficial, but many attach a story to them and negate their benefits. I know many people are vegans and I have no opinion either way, but no where have I ever read that Jesus or the Buddha seen this as a benefit to their practice. All I’m saying is what I’ve found to be truly beneficial needs no story nor attachment to attain a certain result.

People see ayahuasca as a benefit, but this is reaching for something similar to reaching for drugs and alcohol to achieve a result. I can only share my experience and I’ve found reaching for anything in whatever form is not a benefit because the reaching itself is the issue, not the thing being reached for. To me, in the space of just being with what arises in the present moment is the only thing I’ve experienced to be truly beneficial. Not everything you think that’s healthy and supportive are truly a benefit to enhance your life. It will take a very settled mind to see the subtle bondage in the things that are reached for. My experience has been if you are reaching for something regardless of what it is, it’s not beneficial and this is because the reaching itself is the issue and that’s what keeps you in bondage.

Viewing Life Differently

A different more beneficial view of life will only occur if the current view is seen as not being beneficial. Even with a different view life won’t change all the much on the outside, but inwardly everything will change.

If there is to be change in one’s life, it has to be seen that a different view is needed to allow one’s behavior to be more beneficial than what’s in place now. Understand it’s not changing the things that occur that’s needed, it’s only the view of what’s occurring that requires it to be different; that’s when change occurs. This isn’t about substituting positive for negative, or labeling right for wrong, if this is done it just becomes another story from the same old view. This is change from the intellect and it doesn’t provide a different view. A different view occurs when one remains in a state of stillness regardless of what happens, seeing things from here allows change to take place. Of course this is easier said than done and if it doesn’t happen, true change will never occur, only surface change will because whatever view is in place won’t allow change to take place.

The mind always wants to make the current view into a story and attach to it. A different view is what happened to me, I now live each moment from that view which is much more beneficial than living life from the view of a conditioned story. Having a different view has changed me inwardly which in turn means everything has changed or at least the way that it’s viewed has.

True Peace

The peace that most seek is always contingent on something from the outside, if this or that happens then there will be peace, but true peace is from within and doesn't need anything to be.

Thinking about being at peace isn't the same as allowing peace to arise just because that's what's there. This seems to be difficult to grasp and it's because one can't think their way to true peace. Stories can be made up that makes it seem as though there is peace, but it never last. The peace most seek is contingent on something, if this or that happens then there will be peace, but this is another lie of the Conditioned Mind, and there are many. All kinds of examples can be used, if I win the Super Bowl pool, job promotions, snow day off from school, children getting A's in school, new car, you can add your own peace provider to the list. The point is, this list is endless and whatever it is that one attains I guarantee you the peace it brings for that moment will not last. 

The peace I mentioned in the beginning of the article which arises because it's what's there, is not contingent on anything, therefore it is true peace; it’s the peace that passes all understanding. I experience this peace for most of the day, I don't make it happen, but I am aware of my thinking which is a direct hinderance to true peace and this is because you can't think your way to peace. You can only think your way to a surface peace which is contingent on something from outside yourself. The key to true peace is not needing right now different. I know this is difficult especially when things don't go your way, but the alternative is to want things different and keep searching for a peace that will probably remain elusive until life in your current form ends.

Hearing the Music

It's the dance of love that allows one to hear the music of life, for without love all one would hear is noise. Be the instrument that the spirit blows its breath through, and be an instrument where all one hears is the music of love.

It's true that we all have our own journey and when the base of it is derived from love, there's unity. The only reason some don't hear the music is because of the distractions that keeps one entrapped to a mind that's been conditioned to only hear noise. Take the time to do what can be done so the mind settles and the music of love will be heard. Not so noticeable at first, but as the mind becomes more settled the music will get more pronounced. It is possible for everyone to hear the music, but unfortunately not many will get quiet enough for this to occur. 

The Universe is the maestro and love plays the music, we are but the instruments. When it's learned to do things that puts one in harmony with life, the default setting of one's mind will be based in love; the music will be heard and it’s beauty emanates through us. If one's mind isn't based in love, what's heard from the instrument will be music that's out of tune because it's from a self-centered perspective; only noise will emanate out. So be the instrument that the spirit blows its beautiful breath through and be an instrument where all one hears is the music of love.

Selfish Desired Stories

The Conditioned Mind is a story teller and all its stories eventually end. However most of these are unconsciously created to fit into the main story of fulfilling some selfish desire and that story never ends…

The stories the mind conjures up need to be investigated so one can tell if they’re real or not and by real I mean beneficial to one’s life. So many people make up a story to satisfy a selfish desire without looking if those stories are producing results that are beneficial. Many stories benefit only oneself and it doesn’t go much further than that. Even if you’re running around saving the world, who says the world needs saving and also is the helping others done more so to satisfy some selfish desire? It’s very difficult to get in touch with real stories that arise from the space of stillness as opposed to the ones that are made up to satisfy some selfish desire.

Most of the stories we create are strictly to satisfy selfish desires. Very few people are truly selfless, not because they don’t want to be, but by not understanding the dynamics of the Conditioned Mind there’s no way one can be. Every life is a story, it’s just part of existence, but there are ways to see if your stories are beneficial. One way would be to not create a story, this way one wouldn’t be needed. Another is to understand energy is not created or destroyed, it’s only transformed. Although this form that’s being occupied one day will not function any longer in its current state, its energy goes on, and if you want to see if this story is beneficial, sit and be still and you will see no story is real so one’s selfish desires will never be satisfied…

Developing Love

As we go through the process of life, we develop in the way that the conditioning in place allows. If our conditioning and hence our development was based in love things would be much different.

Some things we learn come naturally, but everything takes some kind of practice. If you’re learning how to catch a baseball, at first it’s probably awkward with no knowledge as to the best way to do it, but the more you do it the more natural it becomes. This is the same thing if what you’re learning is based in love. Part of the problem (delusion) is when what’s developed isn’t based in love because unfortunately that tends to become natural; this is why it’s so hard to change. I knew what was right (loving) and what was wrong (selfish) growing up. Doing what was loving was not how I developed so being selfish came natural to me and there wasn’t anybody who could tell me different because that’s all I knew.

To say the least, this selfish development caused much suffering because with this conditioning in place, there wasn’t any room for much else to be seen. This is the delusion most people are unknowingly living by and it’s a direct result of why humanity is the way it is. If we all grew up with our development based in loved, humanity would be much different, it’s really that simple. I know this because eleven years ago I began developing a different base (one of love) and every so slowly my behavior became loving. It doesn’t mean it’s always this way, but just as it is with learning to catch a baseball it takes practice, and in my case it’s done so the loving behavior becomes as natural as the earlier development of being selfish was.

Naturally Beneficial

Many believe they choose what they do, but the reality is there really isn’t a choice in what you do because one can only do what the conditioned view in place dictates, at least until this is seen…

I know people don’t like to hear this, but there really aren’t choices in life. It may seem as though there are, but the conditioning in place dictates what one’s actions will be. From murder to loving kindness and all the other actions in between, the conditioning controls the actions at least until this is seen. It’s as if one is a puppet on a string with the Conditioned Mind being the master puppeteer. For forty nine years I was controlled by my Conditioned Mind without any awareness whatsoever there was a more beneficial way to view life. Today with awareness of this my actions are naturally much more beneficial. Although it seems I now have choices, the shift that occurred in me which resulted in a different view made my actions beneficial, but it’s still not a choice. A different view allowed me to see the lies of my actions so I now naturally do things that are much more beneficial.

For years alcohol was one of the conditioned tools I used as a coping mechanism, and although I thought this was beneficial and a choice, there was no choice here. Today it’s not this way because alcohol is no longer seen as being beneficial. If I had a view that saw using alcohol as a benefit, I would use it. One can only do what they’re conditioned to do and the only way this will be different is if the view becomes different. This is the different view of truly doing what’s beneficial in your life. Many believe they have choices, but this belief creates an inner conflict. The reality is, there is no choice because one will only behave as the conditioned view dictates and good, bad, or indifferent it’s simply done because that’s what’s in place…

Aware of the Moment

The more one is simply aware of the moment, the less reaction there will be to that moment. This doesn't mean every moment will be as wanted, but what does happen is what arises doesn’t trigger a blind reaction.

Life will occur whether you are aware of what arises in the moment or not. What awareness affords a person is the possibility of not being controlled by what arises and thus reacting in a more beneficial way. What arise arises, there's not much that can be done in that regard, but how you react is something that can be controlled, but only if you are aware of the moment. Next time you get and itch don’t blindly scratch it, just watch what happens. This is a simple discipline that can be used for being more aware of the moment. It’s not easy to not give in to the desire to scratch as soon as an itch arises, but if something isn’t done to develop discipline, you will probably never be aware of what arises in the moment; hence your puppet strings will never be cut.  Years ago my reactions were in total control. I wouldn't have allowed anyone to do half of the things I did to myself, but I didn't know any better. Without the awareness of what arises in the moment the reactions would be adhered to as the conditioned mind puppeteer dictates. 

As long as you are alive life will be life and what arises arises, but with awareness of the moment the distracted reactions aren’t as prevalent, this has opened up so many more possibilities in my life, and what's truly beautiful about is the self sabotage reactions are becoming less and less (no need to scratch). Being aware of the way one reacts to what happens is where life arises from. When one is stuck in an unaware view, you are limited only to that view. The more you’re aware of the moment, the less distracted you are by your puppet on a string reactions. Like I said this doesn't mean everything will be perfect or go the way you think it should be, but the imperfections (only because you are labeling the arisen moment as so) won't distract you from cutting your conditioned mind puppet strings.

Inward Magnificence

It's the selfish view of satisfying “I” that keeps one from the vision of seeing their own magnificence. This vision of magnificence only occurs when one's vision comes from looking inward.

Although no one is more special than another in this existence, there are some who do see things differently than most. What makes this happen is looking inward. I wouldn't label some as chosen, but I would say some are more inclined to not attach to a selfish view which allows for a clearer vision than if you are in the grip of a mind based me, me, me, view. The two existences I’ve experienced are vastly different, one was in the direction (outward) where there was much self created suffering, the other the one I'm living now is a view in the direction (inward) of non attachment. The differences in the two views is one created suffering and was done in unconscious ignorance and the one today is lived in awareness of the ignorance. Today my view is as it is because the selfish distractions don't control me as much as they once did; there is still conditioning, I'm just not as controlled by it.

The vision of your own magnificence that occurs is a by product of awareness and as the selfish view is let go of, it opens up space to allow wisdom and insight to occur. This opening is directly linked to the letting go of “I”. It's the “I” that attaches and it's the cause of all suffering. Ever so slowing when one begins to look inward the distractions of “I” fall away. To me this is what was revealed to the great mystic's that people considered special, but all they did was look inward. This looking inward is available to everyone, but one will have to overcome the selfish view that keeps you distracted from the vision of your own magnificence and it will only be seen when you begin to look inward.

Present Moment Awareness

A contented life begins and ends right now. You can be aware that you're thinking about the past or future, but you will never actually be there, and as long you’re thinking about it contentment will elude you.

When awareness of the present is in place, it allows what’s actually happening to be experienced. Being aware of Now as opposed to being pulled in by it or pushing it away and applying a label to what's happening is what will dictate the amount of contentment there is in your life. Life is magical in its essence, but there's nothing  magical about being aware of this. A contented life begins and ends in the present moment and being aware of this provides what’s necessary to allow it.

Take a step, be aware, take another, be aware, this is an anchor as is the breath to the present. One can not be aware of the present in the past or future. You can be aware that you're thinking about something in the past or future, but you can never actually be there. Every step you take or breath can only be taken as it’s happening right now. The more there is awareness of this, the more anchored one becomes of the body being in the present moment as opposed to grasping for the story of what's going on between your ears. Be aware of the present as you read this and watch what arises. Just be with it, no pulling or pushing, just be aware of the reactions. It’s in this space of awareness that you will find contentment and this is because the present moment is the only place that exist.

Everything Changes

Regardless of what happens in life it will not stay the same, but it’s not because things change that causes the mind to become agitated, the agitation arises because the change isn’t wanted.

Everything changes, it’s the nature of the way things are and although intellectually this is known by most people, it’s not brought into daily living. This becomes a major dilemma in a person’s life because things are taken to be more permanent than they actually are and with this outlook when something changes, the mind becomes agitated and suffering ensues. This doesn’t occur because of the change, it occurs because the change isn’t wanted nor accepted.

Wanting things to remain the same is probably the greatest delusion used by the Conditioned Mind and the irony of this is, it’s impossible for life to remain the same so what the Conditioned Mind wants will never be. The nature of life is change so to be at peace with life one must be at peace with change. If you’re not, your mind will be in a constant state of agitation, and if that’s all that’s known, so be it.

There are so many scenarios that entrap a person to the delusional state of wanting things to remain the same. It requires a very settled mind to see the agitations arise when something changes that’s not wanted. This doesn’t mean change has to be embraced or liked, it really just has to be seen for what it is and accepted, but understand even if the thing that changes isn’t accepted, it doesn’t really mean all that much in the grand scheme of things because in life nothing stays the same.

Labels and Roles

Labels and roles are all part of one’s conditioning, with the stage being set for life to be played out. Although one is always on the stage, in silence the labels and roles aren’t needed.

Most of the things that one reaches for throughout life are used just roles as if one is on stage, and life is as if it is a role being played out with one taking on whatever that assigned label may be at the time. Each person studies their lines and plays out the role in whatever way their conditioning has been developed for it to be label and played out. There are many many labels used in playing out the conditioned role.

These labels are the things one reaches for to make their part in the play more interesting. Who would go see a play where everyone was sitting around in silence? So it would seem there is needed drama for life to be more interesting, but this is the fallacy the Conditioned Mind creates.
Only in silence can life be lived to the fullest label and role free. Without the roles and labels, one is present on the stage of life, but not controlled by the rehearsed conditioning. It’s this conditioning that makes one need a role along with many many labels, but in silence, with the stage set in the present moment, one doesn’t have to take on a role or use any of the labels in the puppet show of a conditioned life.