Remembering Who You Are

Anything from the outside needs a story to exist and this is regardless of what it is; the outside reaching just doesn't allow you to remember who you truly are.

The only reason there's ever a struggle with life is because of not remembering who you are. It's so very easy to get caught up in the outside realm of life which makes looking inward secondary. When this happens you lose any sense of who you are because your primary view is based outside yourself and it's delusional because everything outside is impermanent. Inward is eternity, not because of the story of eternity, but because there isn't any label attached to what is experienced inward. Anything from the outside needs a story to exist and this is regardless of what it is; the outside reaching just doesn't allow you to remember who you truly are. The Bible states to "Be still" this can only occur from the inside out. Why most people forget who they are is because they're trying to be still (outside) instead of just being still.

The main difference in what I see (who I am) as opposed to most is there's no story needed to be who I am. There's nothing to manifest, nor does anything need to be different so for the most part there's a steady stream of peace in my life. Imagine if you will that you live every moment of everyday as it is without needing it different, and imagining it is as far as you will get, that is until it is seen that in not wanting or needing anything different is the only true place of remembering who you are. You can make up any story you want of who you are, but that doesn't make it true, so stop trying to do and "Be still" and you just might remember who you truly are and it won't be because of the need to apply a label or story.

Tools Determine Life

Life doesn't determine life, the tools developed determine life and not a damn thing can be done to change the way you do things until the tools that drive your way of thinking change.

Life doesn't determine life, the tools one has developed to respond to each moment is what determines life. If you are seeking for life to be different, that may or may not necessarily happen. Nor does it have to happen, but how life is viewed can become different if the tools in place are changed. If you are reading this it's probably because the tools you have developed over the course of your life aren't giving you the expected (satisfying) results. The only way this will change is by developing new tools. The mind becomes unconsciously conditioned because of the influences it's exposed to and until this is realized, the unconscious conditioning remains in control. 

The tools in place are what drives a person to do what they do. Liberals are liberals as conservatives are conservatives and not a damn thing can be done to change this until the tools that drive the attachment to this way of thinking is changed. Most people are not conscious enough to even see this. One of the main tools that needs to be changed is thinking your way is the right way. The willingness to let the attachment go of thinking your way is the right way allows for a minuscule of openness which makes the way life is viewed different. Once life is viewed from this openness, it allows for many other non beneficial tools to be replaced with ones that are more beneficial. We all use tools that are developed over a course of time. The question is are you using tools that allow you to get the most out of life?

Mind Struggle

If you say life is difficult then it is. If you’re just with life as it is without a label, then the mind struggle ceases and it’s because you’re not doing the thing that allows it to occur.

If you’re wondering why life seems to be a struggle with only fleeting moments of happiness and peace, you may want to check out what you are using to snuff out the struggle. If you’re trying to use the mind that’s creating the struggle to stop it, the struggle won’t cease because you can’t use the same mind to stop it. This is the trap most people get stuck in and very very few ever get out of it. This is one of the reasons I don’t advocate positive thinking as a way to happiness and peace, it takes as much energy to be positive as it does to be negative and although the results are different outwardly, the inner bondage is the same; if one is in bondage there’s very little space for peace or happiness. The reason a broken mind can’t fix itself is because there’s nothing there. Where is this thing labeled as mind? It can’t be seen, smelt, tasted, or felt, but yet one makes the mind the base of their entire existence. It’s no wonder there’s a constant struggle, how can there not be!

The mind is never present because it can’t exist there, it’s why there is a constant thought stream of using the past and future. If a practice of using the body isn’t developed (because it’s the only place that exist) happiness and peace will be a commodity that remains fleeting at best. If you hold onto all the lies of the past and future, the struggle with life will remain and it will be because you are holding onto the things that allow it. Your life is your hands, no one else can make you live in the present. If you say life is difficult then it is. If you’re just with life as it is without labeling it as anything, then and only then will the mind struggle cease and it will be because you’re not doing the thing that allows it to occur.

Evaluating the Moment

As long as you are alive the next moment will happen, and how that moment is evaluated determines the direction and type of energy for that moment and thus for your life.

If someone is telling a story that’s suppose to be funny, there will be an evaluation on your part and you will laugh if it’s evaluated as funny. If you go to the doctor for a check up and you get a call from the office the doctor wants to see you, that moment will be evaluated and depending on the energy it’s given determines what happens next. This goes on for every moment of everyday and although this isn’t consciously done, it is done nonetheless. Becoming aware of this evaluation process will allow you to create a sliver of space between the moment and the evaluation which can possibly alleviate jumping to conclusions so quickly. Mostly that’s what we do, we instantly evaluate the moment and just go with the conditioning that’s in place without considering what we are about to do. We very seldom have all of the facts about what’s happening, we mostly deal with each moment with a knee jerk reaction.

There’s not much space between our thoughts so there’s not much truth to our evaluations as each moment arises. Knee jerk reactions were how my life was lived all the time and it’s why there was a lack of harmony and peace in my life. This has lessened to a degree, but even when it does happen, it’s let go of a lot quicker because of the awareness it’s happening. To me life is simply about becoming more aware of the things in place that take me from my place of peace. After all when one is able to evaluate each moment for what it truly is, two things that would be at the forefront of each evaluation would be “How important is it” and “This too shall pass.”

Your Story Your Lie

To the level of understanding of how you alone create the stories you think are needed to live your life, to that extent is how your created stories become the lies you live by.

Whatever it is you reach for that’s outside yourself becomes your story, and unfortunately it also becomes the lie you live by. Life needs no such story or lie to exist, but you probably do because you have never been taught otherwise. Our lies are at the core of everything reached for and what’s reached for actually reinforces the lie. This is why dependency is dependency regardless of what it is. A program, therapy, another book, meditation, retreats, your favorite team, politics, are no different than reaching for alcohol, drugs, food or something else. They are all a form of the lie one’s Conditioned Mind uses to make you believe they’re needed to live your life, but it just isn’t true; there would be existence even if none of these things were reached for. If there isn’t some awareness of this which just may create some space, your entire life can be lived as a lie. Because of the lack of awareness of this, my life was lived as a lie for forty nine years.

Today because there’s some space between reaching for these lies, they’re not nearly as dominant as previously. They still arise because of the conditioning in place, but they have so much less control because there’s awareness of them. It’s imperative to understand how the reaching itself is the lie as what’s being used only matters in the respect to the harm it causes. It seems the less harm it causes the more the lie is accepted, but this is all just part of the lie because a lie is as lie no matter what. This isn’t as complicated as it may seem, know your lies and you will come to know truth, but understand if you don’t they will dominate your life which will than be lived as a lie you alone create.

Illuminating Light

The Conditioned Mind is marred in darkness and because of this the world is the way it is. Not enough people see the light and even though the light is always there, it needs to be noticed so one can turn towards it.

All light has illuminance properties, that’s why when one sees the light they’re illuminated from their bondage. Look at a plant, it begins as a seed, it has potential, but it’s still only a seed. You can put it in soil, water it and give it all the nutrients possible, but without the illumination of light, the transformation from seed to plant will not occur. This illuminating light is the source of life. There are exceptions to this rule as with deep sea creatures or those in caves, but for the most part it is light that illuminates. Go into a dark room and turn on the light, there’s an instant illumination of the room. The walls come alive with color, the furniture and design of the room are also intensified. Without the light the room still exist, but its vibrance is hidden.

When one wakes up to experience the illumination of light, it’s the lights energy that becomes one’s source just as it is with a plant or a room. You can be in the dark your entire life, but once there’s light the darkness is gone forever. It may return somewhat because of one’s conditioning, but it will never be as dark as it once was, it can’t because there will always be some light. This illuminating light is truth revealed, (one’s internal energy of love) and it’s impossible to consciously turn it off. As stated before it will turn off only because of one’s unconscious conditioning, but this light is always on because it’s the light (the source) of our existence and the true essence (love) of who we are. The Conditioned Mind is grounded in darkness and the world is the way it is because not enough people see the light. The light is always there, it just needs to be noticed so one can turn towards it.

Out With the Old

Mental bondage to our old thoughts is only real to the level of the unawareness of this and because the bondage is so subtle even when there is awareness, it’s still difficult to let the new in.

So much goes on between the ears in our daily life that truly living in the moment in almost impossible, almost. This old mental bondage can be broken free of, but only when it’s seen for what it truly is, old. You cannot break free from the mental bondage if the old patterns that cause it aren’t identified; you don’t know what you don’t know. For many years I did things unaware there was another way to view life. I was caught in my old Conditioned Mind Patterns and nothing short of a miracle was going to change this. The miracle that did happen wasn’t from some outside source who chose me, I was made ready by reaching a place where there was nowhere else to turn but inward. When this happened, the old veil of ignorance was removed along with all of its lies. You can hold onto whatever you think you need, for me it wasn’t until there was nowhere to turn but inward that space was created which allowed the new in as the old patterns fell away. Space had to be created, if not the new would have never been allowed in.

I’m the same person I always was when it comes to my human form, but energy wise all has changed. I no longer see things from the stand point of the past and future because I’ve found they are the old patterns that hold me captive. The new is constantly exposing itself in the present moment and although the Conditioned Mind loves the old, if I want to break free from the old mental patterns that tried like hell to destroy me, things have to be discovered that reveal the new. This is what discipline allows, I had none so I stayed marred in the old and it wasn’t until there was space that the new took hold.

The Hook of Self

The way one gets hooked to things all comes from the same inner attachment to self and the only way there will ever be freedom from these hooks is by simply not attaching to self.

When life is seen through the sense of self, everything that appears seems to have a hook attached to it. Whether the hook takes hold and if it does how deeply it locks you in, is dependent on how conscious you are of this. But understand the hook is not on what is being viewed, the hook is on the way the self sees what is viewed. Mostly we go through life unconscious, thinking everything is outside of us and although it is, the hook of the view that is seen as self is what causes you to become entrapped to whatever it is you see.

Simply put, the controlling energy of your life can’t be any different than where your self focus is, and your self determines what is focused on. Focus on pain and the pain will cause unnecessary suffering. Focus on lust and the ensuing action will follow. Until you can see how your own self hooks you and learn to not attach to it, you will have very little control over what holds you in captivity. Truly understanding this makes all the difference in the world as to what hooks you and the suffering that’s experienced because of it. This doesn’t mean you have to go around being perfect, just understand the hooks are there and when you get hooked it’s only because of the attachment to self. In this understanding lies your freedom because although you may get hooked, it won’t be your focus if you don’t attach to self.

Primary Emotions

A heart of love doesn’t suffer, it aches. Primary emotions are the main emotions that arise and they’re far different than when there’s attachment that allows secondary emotions to arise.

This is the biggest misunderstanding when it comes to emotions. Emotions will arise, that’s a given they are a part of being human, but what happens after the primary emotions arise determines the degree of the suffering one endures. At first the emotions are primary and this is what needs to be focused on if one is to ever experience liberation from the suffering emotions can cause. Secondary emotions arise when one attaches to the primary emotions and this is directly linked to the level of suffering that’s experienced. Emotions don’t cause suffering, attachment to them does. An example of attachment to emotions would be if someone accidentally cut you off on the highway, at first you are scared, but right after that you become angry and chase them. Another example is if you go to the doctor and they find something wrong, you can project having one foot in the box (dying) or you can wait and see what the test results are. Add your own example.

Attaching to emotions is how stories are made up, but they don’t add anything to life. They just create stories which feeds the energy that causes suffering. You can only be the energy that encompasses you and when there’s suffering it’s because of the energy that’s be projected. This is what determines the degree of one’s emotional suffering. A heart of love doesn’t suffer, it aches, losing a loved one doesn’t necessarily have to cause suffering. It will though if there’s attachment to the secondary emotion which always wants the situation different than what it is. Hence here is where suffering arises from because when there’s attachment to emotions, the energy that’s in place can only cause suffering because it’s what’s being held.

Emotions Ride

A thought is but a thought, it has no emotional tie until there’s attachment, but its not the thought that has control, it’s the attachment because without the attachment the thought would have no energy.

When something happens in life and an emotion is attached to it, the roller coaster ride begins. Up, down, round and round, loop the loop, fast, slow and when it finally runs its course, the ride stops, that is until the next emotion pushes the start button. Our thoughts aren’t in control until they are attached to and the start button is pushed. A thought is a thought is a thought, there’s no substance to it until it’s attached to, but its not really the thought that is given control, it’s the attachment because without the attachment the thought would be unable to attain energy. A thought does not start the roller coaster, you can have a thought all day long, but this doesn’t push the start button. It is strictly the attachment to the thought that starts the ride and puts the emotions in motions.

Our thoughts are like electricity and this is the energy that starts the roller coaster, it’s always there like a light that’s plugged in just waiting to be turned on. So depending on how you are conditioned, regardless of the nature of the thought, when there is attachment to the thought the on button is pushed and the roller coaster starts moving; it has been set in motion and it will now have to run its course. You pushed the start button so you will have to endure the consequences of this. Some roller coasters are larger, faster, and scarier than others, we may want to blame others for starting the ride, but no one is responsible for starting it but ourselves. If you don’t want to constantly be on a roller coaster ride for the rest of your life, you will need to understand you are not your thoughts or emotions and just maybe you will learn how to not push your roller coasters start button.

It's Only a Thought

Unless the mind settles enough to see itself, most of one’s thoughts will be a conditioned lie so you really shouldn’t believe everything you think because a thought is but a thought and it’s not necessarily true.

Nothing is a problem unless it’s made into one. Think of the context of this simple yet profound sentence. Here are some of the ways the mind becomes conditioned and if one gets quiet enough this conditioning can be seen. The car in front of me is going to slow, I have to go food shopping, I’m tired, my allergies are horrible, I’m bored, etc, etc, etc. All of these start out as a single thought, but that isn’t where the problem lies the thought just arises, something triggers the attachment to it and what happens next is where the problem arises from because we believe the thought. We actually think the car in front is going to slow, or going food shopping is something we don’t like. We believe our thoughts to be true and then we attach to them and become controlled by them. If the thought wasn’t labeled to be true, we would be able to see it simply for what it is . We would see what was really going on instead of what our conditioned mind was making up. It would be seen the car in front of us really isn’t going to slow, we are just being controlled by our undisciplined thoughts.

Learn to watch the nonsense that’s believed to be true, but there’s so much of it that it’s hard to grasp. I mentioned one time to a person about the way we poison ourselves with tobacco products and his response was, he enjoyed them. This is insanity to enjoy poisoning yourself, but that’s the lie of a Conditioned Mind. People enjoy all sorts of things that are harmful to themselves, this also includes associated behaviors that harm others, and one’s own mind justifies it all. All I am saying is watch the thoughts that you think and learn how so many are based in lies to keep you in captivity to the Conditioned Mind. By no means should you take my word for it, the next time a thought pops into your head, take a moment before you label and act on it, and really take notice if what you are thinking is true or if it’s just a lie of your Conditioned Mind.

The Learning Curve of Compassion

There’s a learning curve in life that allows one to let things go so compassion can arise. It matters little what our intentions are if what comes out of our mouth or if our actions aren’t from compassion.

This learning curve of life isn’t something to be held onto for strict adherence, it’s more so used to stay opened to the ever expanding view of compassion and not get caught up in self serving actions. Compassion and tolerance especially have to be at the forefront when others are involved. It’s not always easy to understand where others are coming from so it’s better not to judge and try to deal with each situation from a place of neutrality. This is much easier said than done, but by practicing quietness it gets easier to decipher what the most beneficial course of action is for all involved. We shouldn’t be to hard on ourselves especially because the Conditioned Mind process of awakening is slow and it has to be accepted as it is if one is to be at peace. On the other hand our conditioning is not to be ignored because we won’t learn from it and the same reactions will be repeated over and over again.

Although our journey may seem mundane at times, it’s only a self serving mind that makes it appear this way; life can never truly be mundane. Every moment of everyday is new unto itself, and when it’s lived in the present, it’ll be realized what a gift life truly is. It’ll be understood that what our learning curve affords us is not the mundane life of living in the past or future, but the ability to live in the present more and more and respond to life from a place of compassion instead of reacting from a self serving mind. The more this is done, the less mundane life will be and the more compassion one will have for themselves and hence for all beings.

Delusional Regret

The past is real to the extent that it happened, but it’s not real to the extent that it’s held onto. If regretting the past is in control of the present, the only reality is the stagnation of living in the regret of the past.

It’s very important to reflect on the past and learn from it, but if the arising energy is from regret, it will be counterintuitive to your well being. The past is the past and unless it’s allowed to remain there it will constantly be brought into the present along with its regretful energy. Any past action regardless of what it was is over as soon as it happens. If it’s held onto and relived, it transforms the free flowing energy of the present into energy that binds one to a self that doesn’t truly exist, which is also counterintuitive to one’s well being. The past is real to the extent that it happened, but it’s not real to the extent that it’s held onto. I don’t shut the door on the past, I just don’t live there because regrets energy makes the past delusional by taking one from the moment of the present.

There are choices in life only when there are options, but if regretting the past is in control of the present, there is no choice, there is only the stagnation of living in the regret of the past. The past is important to the degree that we use it to learn from, but that’s it, it causes more problems than it’s worth. All judgements come from the past which blocks the free flowing energy of the present moment. You can only do what you’re conditioned to do so there’s no reason to regret anything. Regrets are only in place because one thinks there was a choice, but once there’s awareness there wasn’t, all regrets can be let go of because it is seen you only did what you were conditioned to do and you really didn’t have a choice.

Finding The Lost City

Finding peace is like finding a lost city, there are many maps out there that just don’t lead to what you’re looking for. And if you think the map you’re using is the correct one, why are you still looking for the lost city?

Think of waking up as if you have be given a map to a lost city. Not everyone gets this map and even those who do, not all of them find the lost city. So the question to ask is even though you have the map, are you reading it correctly? I only say you have the map because you’re reading this, but are the directions clear or are you only using the directions that suit you. I’m not saying I have the only map, but I have been shown the way to the lost city. You don’t have to believe me, as a matter of fact I don’t want you to believe me, I want nothing more than for you to investigate and find the map to the lost city on your own, but I will tell you this, unless you are willing to use a proven map that allows the lost city to be found, you will be going in circles for a very long. And you will constantly be looking for another map because if you haven’t found the lost city by now, it’s because you have the wrong map. You may stumble upon the lost city by accident and if you want life to be like a game of chance that’s up to you, I have outlined the route to the lost city, but I cannot make anyone use the map given to me.

Now you can keep using the map that keeps you going in circles or you can keep looking for another map, but all I’m saying is I have been given the map, it’s not my map, I used mine and many others for years to no avail. It wasn’t until I knew I didn’t have the map that I was open enough for the real map and the Universe gave it to me. I’m not arrogant in saying this, I know there was a major shift in my view of life that had nothing to do with me. I share this constantly to possibly show others you too can find the lost city within. I share the map given to me, but I only have it because there was a willingness to receive it. It will take a willingness to forget about your own map and perseverance to keep going when the going gets tough, but the most important thing to realize is this, you may think you have the right map in your possession, but if you do why haven’t you found the lost city?

To Live or Not to Live

Now is not a magical place, but because it’s the only place that truly exist, it’s the only place where you can be liberated from your stories (yourself) and truly live your life.

Everyone is on a path to somewhere and where that somewhere ends up is all the same, but the road to our final resting place is much different for all. Shakespeare might have said “to be or not to be, that is the question, but I say “to live or not to live, that is the real question. I know the way someone views life is influenced by many things, but it’s heart breaking at times to see what is so adamantly held onto just because it has been in place for a long time. A story of a path regardless of how beautiful the story is made up to be, is still a story which comes from a thought so it’s not a path to true liberation. It may be better than a previous path you were on, but that doesn’t mean it’s the most beneficial one. In my writings the only thing I point to is the present moment and that’s because it’s the only place that truly exist. There’s no story needed here, it’s existence pure and simple.

If there is another path you are using, you may want to check how much of a story is needed to remain on it, and most importantly you may want to see if you’re using a path that truly liberates you from yourself. We will all end up in the same place at the end of our existence, but our differences will be the road travelled. It can be one where a story is used just like whistling in the dark to keep away the bogeyman, which happens to be you. Or you can truly live your life by living Now, not because Now is a magical place, but because it’s the only place that truly exist and it’s the only place where you can be liberated from stories (yourself) and truly live your life.